


Brutal Beloved

by WeaverOfWords (Fantasy_elf)



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dracula Influence/References, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hellsing Organization, Hellsing Ultimate OVA, Human/Vampire Relationship, Jealous Alucard (Hellsing), Master/Pet, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-07-03 21:50:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15827628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasy_elf/pseuds/WeaverOfWords
Summary: Humans had always fascinated him over the endless centuries... but this one in particular was especially intriguing.She was the prize of another. Stolen as a child and bound to a vampire who was both cruel and cunning. Yet fate had intervened and spared her. Hellsing, who had once been her enemy, now became her ally. Fascination could be a dangerous thing, and the No-Life King himself wasn't entirely immune to it.AlucardXOC-- Continues after Ultimate episode 10.Warnings: Contains Violence, strong language and scenes of sexual nature. Suitable for 16+. Mature readers only.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing of Hellsing, the characters, the manga or anime etc. They all belong to their relevant owners and creators. This is a fanfic only and I only lay claim to my own Original characters that I have created myself.
> 
> Warnings: Will contain angst/dark tones/smut/action/gore/violence/swear words and scenes of a sexual nature... read with caution.
> 
> Notes: The story takes place after the Ultimate universe. Integra is still in charge of Hellsing, but is now older. Alucard has already returned after being away for 30-odd years. This is where my OC comes into the narrative... the story continues...
> 
> Enjoy!

\---

"You have not done as I have asked, Josep." The cold sinister voice that spoke echoed throughout the dark cavernous hall like a spectres whisper. "You have failed me, y _et again_. Your incompetence is beginning to become intolerable."

I watched the spectacle unfold before my eyes, my presence hidden in shadow as I slunked down behind one of the towering marble columns that lined the perimeter of the room. Every tiny sound reverberated to my ears. The cold air sent a shiver rippling down my spine and the thin layer of my shorts and t-shirt could barely garner any warmth to me. My thin arms hugged at my narrow waist, clinging to it for comfort. My dirty bare feet shuffled against the stone floor, trying to ease the biting chill in my toes. Candelabras flickered, casting a gentle glow from the walls around us. I shuffled and the chains that bound me rattled slightly at the small motion. A thick lump of dread settled into my stomach. A sense of foreboding sliced into me like a knife, sharp and unrelenting.

A lithe, male figure lounged upon the throne-like chair at the centre of the room. The vampire's midnight suit clung to his long limbs. His features like granite, pale and angular, reminded me of a bird of prey stalking the skies, on the hunt. Cunning, yet impeccably fair in appearance.  _A beautiful monster._  Hair long and curling like a dolls settled around his wide shoulders like golden silk. Another figure bowed at his feet in reverence.

"Please, my lord," the smaller male rasped. His terror so cloying and thick, I could almost taste it upon my tongue. He was sickly looking, thin and weak – a newly formed fledgling. Another subordinate to my master's will. "I tried to do as you ordered. Truly I did. But we were prevented from completing our task."

"And why is that?" The vampire tilted his head slowly at him. One might have considered the gesture one of intrigue or curiosity.

But I knew my master better than anyone. He wasn't pleased. His fury rested upon the edge of a knife, teetering dangerously, despite his calm demeanour.

"Their  _vampire_... he found us and hunted us down like cattle. Only a few of us survived."

The vampire scoffed dismissively. "Including yourself, I find that rather ironic. No doubt you fled like a coward, hmm?"

The fledgling, Josep, curled further into himself, trying to become as little and harmless as possible. He stretched out a skeletal arm, baring his wrist to the god-like creature above him. A symbol of his submission. His grungy rat-tail hair fell forward, concealing his face.

"Forgive me, my lord. I only-"

The vampire lifted a hand, cutting him off shortly. His long fingers extended, elegant and slender. A sapphire ring glinted upon one of them, catching the light.

"Save your excuses," my master sighed, leaning an elbow against the arm of his chair in a bored fashion. "I gave you your orders, vermin. Kill the Hellsing bitch and bring me her head. Yet you dare return to me empty-handed. It was a simple enough task!"

"But it is not simple, my lord!" Josep argued back suddenly, and I flinched, casting an anxious glance to my master whose gold eyes flared dangerously at his servant's audacity.

A grave error indeed. I knew one thing above all others when it came to my master – show him leniency and respect, or pay the consequences. And never interrupt or talk back to him.

"Your enemy is cunning," Josep explained, his voice shaking, uneven. "Their vampire is powerful. Too powerful for us to comprehend."

 _Hellsing_. I considered the name carefully for a moment. I had heard the stories and tales about this organisation many times. Protectors of England. Loyal subjects to the crown and Queen, her majesty. Defenders of mankind. My master abhorred them above all others. One name in particular always earned his contempt. _Integra._  A woman said to be as fierce and resilient as winter, or so they say. Bound by duty and a human not lightly to be reckoned with.

And  _he_ , her most treasured family pet. The one they feared most of all. The dog that bayed only at the command of its master's will. The vampire,  _Alucard_. His name was uttered in dread and fear. Described only as a force of nature, neither living, nor dead. He could command the very seas and skies. Control the elements and shadows as if he was one with them. Unstoppable. Unkillable. Powerful beyond measure.

"He protects the Hellsing woman fiercely," Josep continued nervously, "There is more to him than meets the eye-"

"I know  _what_  he is," my master snapped suddenly, the sound ricocheting around the stone walls eerily. I saw the fledgling flinch, crawling back a pace in a protective movement. "And I also know  _whom_  he is. But it matters not, he will be dealt with in due course." He sneered down his hawk-like nose at the quivering creature knelt before him in disdain. "As for you, Josep, I am beginning to find you more of a hindrance than a help. Your uses are starting to become non-existent."

I swallowed back the dryness in my throat, casting a pitying glance at the wretch that was Josep Guivianni. Once he had been a great man of power; a businessman of much wealth and control. Now he was nothing more than a shadow of his former self. A poor creature deserving of pity. I knew the look in my master's eyes and I knew what that cruel sharpness meant within them. There was no mercy in him. Ruthless and callous, he had no value for life; whether it be living or otherwise.

Josep was as good as dead already.

"Oh please, my lord," Josep began to grovel beseechingly. His face twisting in desperation. His eyes tiny pin-points as crimson tears formed within them. "Please, spare me." He reached out a trembling hand, his fingertips hovering a mere inch away from the vampires foot. Imploring. Trying to appease him.

"I'm afraid you are no longer needed. Do forgive me,  _old friend_ , but this is where your journey ends."

With a quick glance and a nod, a gathering of shadows stepped from the darkness around them, crowding in closely. The ghouls reached for Josep, red eyes gleaming manically. Thirsty for blood.

"No!" Josep thrashed, kicking out wildly against them, his scream of terror slicing me deep into the pit of my very soul.

Claw-like fingers grasped and tore at him. They surged forward as a unit, pinning him down, attacking him at every angle with razor-sharp teeth. His gurgled cries made bile fly up into my throat. Unable to bear it any longer, I turned my face away from the scene, closing my eyes tightly. I could hear them chewing on his flesh, the bones crunching. I covered my ears with my shaking hands, pulling my knees to my chest.

_Stop it. Please, make it stop._

Moments passed and an unsettling silence fell upon us.

"Such a waste," my master spoke quietly. Coldly. "I overestimated the useless pig."

I must have made a noise, a whimper of distress, for his fair head turned to me slowly, his golden eyes finding me in the dimness with ease. He held out a hand to me, beckoning me to his side. His voice light and alluring, cooing gently to me like one would a frightened child.

"Come,  _ma belle_ ," he urged, his will wrapping around my mind like a vice, refusing to be denied. "Come to my side, I wish to see you."

Unable to refuse him, my legs moved as if of their own accord. I closed the distance between us, my chains clinking noisily as I lowered down beside his legs, leaning against them. The collar around my neck felt tight, restrictive. Numbly I placed my head against my master's knee, staring across to the shredded corpse of Josep Guivianni. Blood stained the floor like bright war paint. Flesh and bits of bone lay scattered in all directions. The ghouls hissed, staring at me hungrily, but they were quickly dismissed by a wave of the vampire's hand.

I sighed in relief as they faded away from sight, stepping back into the shadows. I was safe...  _for now._

"Nobody has a single shred of loyalty in them any more." The vampire above me growled, clearly annoyed with the situation. "No obedience, and no respect. Not like you, my love."

His hand slid under me, clasping my chin so that he could lift my face up towards him. For a moment I stared at him, stared at the vampire who had become my soul existence and reason for living over the years. His handsome visage hadn't aged a single day since I had first met him.

 _He_ , Lucius Corvinus Maxim. Grandmaster vampire, and once the fifth son of the Marquis De La Croix. Once born into a French aristocratic family in a time long since passed.

"You please me above all others." He stroked a thumb against the curve of my cheek, feathery light. His molten eyes softened, peering down at me thoughtfully. "I will not allow this blunder to spoil my plans. The Hellsing dogs will be wiped from the earth and I shall reign supreme, walking the streets of London, powerful and singular. And you, my best beloved one, will stand at my side, as one with me.  _Mon prix._ My prize."

I blinked slowly at him, neither speaking nor agreeing with him. I dared not refuse him, even when every inch of my skin crawled at his nearness. Silently I pulled away, turning my head back down to rest upon his lap.

"Why do you withdraw from me?" he asked coolly. "I remember a time when you would enjoy my company and bask in my affection. What has changed?"

I tensed at his vexed tone and sighed wearily. "I was a child back then and things were different. I was naive and ignorant of the world..." I trailed off, unable to finish my words.

 _I was ignorant of you and the monster you truly were._ I had attached myself blindly to him, seeking love and happiness in the wrong places. And now, I was trapped here, doomed to follow at his side in all things. Alone.

"The world?" Lucius sneered. "The world has abandoned you, just as it did me. Or have you forgotten? It has discarded you, measured your human life and found it worth absolutely nothing. Only death and misery." His cool hand settled upon my long hair, stroking it gently, almost lovingly. "I have spared you of that fate. I shall give you everything and set you above all of them. You will be untouchable. Powerful. No one will ever hurt you again."

I closed my eyes, wishing for a single moment that I was somewhere else. Someone else. Surrounded by a family who loved and wanted me, instead of being treasured by this being who made me doubt every aspect of my existence. I knew his words were lies. He was incapable of love, yet he was skilfully capable of destroying and manipulating others.

"Am I not generous?" he whispered enticingly, his voice like silk. "Do you not trust me?"

I'd heard those very words so many times before. Even back to the very first time I'd ever laid my eyes upon him. They haunted my sleep and mocked me of my reality.

Without a word, I nodded. Unable to do little else.

"Good," he purred, his touch sliding across my shoulder, pulling my locks back to expose the delicate curve of my throat. My skin tingled at the contact, all too aware of what would happen next. "Then show me your gratitude,  _ma belle_. Give me your blood."

I did not get a choice in the matter. White-hot agony flashed through me as he lowered his head and sank his teeth deeply into my neck. I whimpered, but remained still, knowing that if I fought him he would retaliate. I could feel the energy seeping out from me with each long draw of his mouth. Numbly I stared at Josep's corpse upon the ground and wished in that second that it was me there instead.

-o-o-

* * *

_-o-o-_

_12 years ago..._

_-o-o-_

_Thunder rumbles. A flash of lightning follows, causing me to huddle back against the cupboard. Everything is dark, yet I can hear raised voices coming from outside the door. People are shouting. I can hear them screaming for help._

_What is happening?_

_I hide in the shadows, in the corner of the room by the clothing cabinet. So very afraid. I did not know who to call for or who to run to. I was alone. I hugged Mr. Panda, my bear, to me, hoping he would keep me safe._

_I hear footsteps walk into the room. The door is open and I can see a light coming in from beyond the hallway. Everything goes very quiet and I hold my breath. Frightened._

_Someone was here._

_All of a sudden, he is there, standing over me. I take in his pale skin and glowing yellow eyes. Everything about him tells me he's a bad man, but at the same time I find him interesting. Pretty. The strangest man I have ever seen._

_His thin, colourless lips smile at me. "There you are, ma belle. I can smell you even from the other side of the house. Why do you hide?"_

_The stranger reaches for me and I scrunch further back against the wall. Who is he? Where were the nice ladies who lived with us? Where was everyone?_

" _Non, do not fear me, little one. I am a friend." His stranger's voice grows gentle and nice. "I have come to help you."_

" _I-I shouldn't talk to strangers," I whispered, afraid that if I spoke too loudly then the bad people would find us._

_The man knelt down, laughing quietly. "But I am not a stranger... not any more. I've come to take you to a safe place, a new home, where there will be lots of toys and games to play. Would you like that?"_

_What kind of toys? I thought curiously. Slowly, I shuffled forward taking the stranger's outstretched hand. His arms lifted me to him, carrying me against his side. I gasped in surprise, dropping Mr. Panda by accident. The stranger carried me out into the corridor and I stared down with wide eyes at the people lying oddly across the floor. Their own eyes were open, staring at the ceiling. What were they doing? Why weren't they moving?_

_Anxious, I made a sound. A whimper._

" _Hush now," the pretty man cooed gently, "they are only sleeping. We must not wake them, otherwise they will want to come too."_

" _Okay," I whisper, still staring at them all, unable to look away._

" _We are going to have much fun, you and I. I promise," the stranger said, his arms tightening around me, making me feel safe. My new friend. I wrapped my small arms around his neck, holding onto him. His bright eyes stared into me, his lips smiling strangely._

" _Do you trust me?"_

_Uncertain, yet curious, I nodded to him._


	2. Chapter 2

 

_3 days later..._

_-o-o-_

The quietness of the evening became disrupted by the large double doors flying open. They banged on their hinges, almost piercing my eardrums painfully. My eyes flew open, taken aback, and I lifted my head weakly from my master's lap. The sleek hand upon my hair stilled and I could feel him shift in his chair beside me. His displeasure like a tangible force within the room.

A pale, skinny male scuttled his way towards us with haste, his beady red eyes wide in terror. He was a new fledgling of Lucius'; a new pawn for him to play with. I didn't even know his name, nor did I care. He'd come to Lucius directly, seeking out immortality and eternal life...

_Fool_. It would be the biggest mistake he'd ever make.

“They're coming,” the fledgling stammered, unsettled upon his feet as if he dearly wished to flee for his very undead life. “He's found us! They're here!”

My master, Lucius, sighed in disinterest. “What are you blabbering on about?” And then mumbled under his breath, “I sincerely regret turning this idiot, he really is such a nuisance.”

My knees shifted beneath me against the cold floor, my legs aching from sitting in the same position for too long. The chains brushed against my legs, dangling heavily from the collar at my throat. Dizziness rolled over me. I was still weak and sore from my master's recent feed.  

“Hellsing!” the fledgling squawked, “They have come. We must leave at once, my lord!”

“Leave?” Lucius chuckled as he addressed the pitiful creature that had not long ago still been a living breathing man. “My goodness, no. This is excellent news. At last, we will finally come face to face with our adversaries. And as the saying goes: if the mountain will not go to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain.”

His hand fell back to me, guiding my head down again to his knee. I followed the silent command, shuddering as his fingers delved into my hair again. His touch both disturbing and somewhat comforting. I could sense his eagerness. The delirious rush shaking along the length of his thighs. His body trembling. Excited for what was to come.

I clutched at his navy trouser leg, my anxiety obvious. I knew what this meant, of what would soon follow. A chaotic concoction of bloodshed and death. One that I could not escape or run from. I wanted so desperately to beg him to spare me of it. I wanted no part in it. I had seen too many horrors to count by his hand.

I shivered, and he must have felt it as he began to hush me gently, like one would a child. “Shh, have no fear, _ma belle_. This is good, _non_? Now we get to see what Hellsing is really worth and remove them from our path. It brings much joy to this ancient heart of mine.”

_Heart_? Did he even have one? I often considered the idea, but then only came to the conclusion that he had no mercy or compassion in him. Not even when he was a human, it would seem. He had been a monster in his human life, and that had magnified in his undead one...

Gunshots sounded in the distance. First one, then two, and then many. My spine grew rigid, dread settling in my stomach like a heavy rock.

“He's here.” It was uttered in awe by the vampire beside me, teetering on the brink of hysteria.

The ground beneath me trembled, the entire mansion shaking with its force. The fledgling before us scampered away, clearly seeing reason and deciding to run for it. I couldn't blame him for trying either. If I had the chance or ability I would have followed after him without a single backward glance. The candelabras on the wall flickered eerily as if dancing upon a wind. An unsettling chill ran down my back, causing goosebumps to spring up across the flesh of my legs and arms.

Something was coming. Like a dangerous storm brewing, I could sense it all the way across my being. A sense of foreboding. A silent warning that whispered upon the air.

Snarls and screams rose into a crescendo against the endless rounds of gunfire. A large hand settled upon my shoulder, making me startle. I looked up towards my master. My eyes wide, uncertain.

“Go,” he commanded, gesturing an elegant arm out towards the far side of the room. “Watch as I decimate our enemies into nothing but ash and dust.”

Without a word, I sprang up and rushed towards one of the white columns, hunkering down behind it. I had barely gotten myself into position when the doors suddenly sprung open again. The hinges creaked, the panels forced wide like a gaping mouth as if by an invisible force. I held my breath and clutched at my knees, staring towards the entrance. Mist drifted in from the hallway beyond, trailing and weaving its way into the spacious chamber like an unwelcome guest. At first I saw nothing, but then I began to hear it. Footsteps. Heavy and resonating, stepping into the room with an almost leisurely speed. A dark figure prowled forth from the fog, broad and incredibly tall. From a distance, I could make out the long red coat and hat. Strange orange lenses gleamed upon a pale face.

The person drew to a stop, a few metres away from my master's chair. Silence settled amongst us, stifling and suffocating as a woollen blanket. Neither of the males advanced, patiently waiting for the other to make the first move.

“At last we meet, _Count,”_ Lucius finally speaks, his voice tinged with a polite tone. Almost respectful. “It is truly an honour to make your acquaintance.” He held up his hands in a suave gesture of welcome. “Please, step into our humble abode. What can I do for you?”

The newcomer had an edge about him. Power and authority clung to him like a second skin. Compelling and frightening all at once. There was an energy to him, an aura of confidence and grace that could, without doubt, make many cower before him. I peered closer, my curiosity rising. His features, from what I could see beneath his crimson fedora were pointed and sharp as a finely carved statue. The long, slender shape of his frame beneath his charcoal suit gave him the impression of nobility, but certainly not one of weakness.

Was this him? The one they called... _Alucard?_

“Save your pleasantries,” the stranger spoke, his voice inhumanly deep. Silken and smooth like velvet. “I'm not here for idle chit-chat.” His long arm stretched out, a white-gloved hand pointing a gun directly at my master. “I've come to collect your head.”

“That's a shame. I have so enjoyed our little game of cat and mouse. Haven't you?” Lucius mused aloud. “I have to say that I'm impressed by your boldness, there aren't many who can get through my defences and live to tell the tale.”

“Oh? Do you mean the poor wretched souls outside? They weren't much. I was getting rather bored having to deal with them.”

I looked beyond his towering frame and saw the evidence of his strength. Blood splattered the stone floor in the hallway beyond the door. I could see a dismembered arm and leg. A disembodied head. A booted foot was barely visible beside the door frame, still spasming even in death.

_Oh god…_

My master scoffed, snapping my focus to him. “Mere puppets, I assure you. As I am sure you understand. _Oui_?”

The second males red hat tilted, as if bemused. “I understand you are deluded, preying upon the weak to satisfy your lust for power. All those lives you have taken and yet you weren’t even thirsty. What a waste.”

Lucius chuckled, the sound ominous. “You know as well as I do that mortal life means little to beings such as us. We are immortal and do not need to empathise with these pathetic creatures. They are all cattle and mean nothing to me.”

“All except _one_ , it would seem,” the stranger purred knowingly.

My heart froze in its beat when a pair of crimson eyes slid sideways towards me over the rim of a pair of orange-tinted glasses. I stilled, my breath seizing within my lungs. He hadn’t moved his head at all, yet his burning gaze had found me lurking within the shadows so easily. As if he had known I had been there the entire time. That creepy grin spread further against his curved mouth and I slid back further into the darkness, trying to hide from him.

“Oh, you mean that one?” Lucius said, slowly straightening in his seat, as though growing aware and alert to something. “She smells divine, doesn’t she? Her blood calls to me like no other.” There was a brief silence before he spoke again. “She belongs to me, and only me. So do not even think about taking her fro--”

A loud gunshot split through the air and I gave a squeak as a large bullet sliced its way across the room and smashed straight through my master’s chest. I heard him grunt in pain, his body slumping over.

“As much as I enjoy watching you make a fool of yourself,” the stranger said, “I’m afraid the game is over. My master has ordered for your demise, and I am only too happy to oblige her.”

I watched in horror as Lucius’ moved, rising up from his chair. His head lifted, golden hair parting to reveal his furious expression. The hole in his torso began to heal, the flesh knitting back together neatly within seconds. With a smooth motion, he cast aside his black cloak and drew forth his silver rapier from its scabbard.

“Very well,” my master sneered, “I cannot deny that I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time.”

“And what moment is that?” came the snide reply.

“The moment in which I take your undead life, _Monsieur_. I shall become the only being ever to be able to destroy the great No-Life King himself. Count Dracula. Vlad Tepes, the Impaler of Wallachia.”

I gaped at them in surprise and then turned to the stranger once again. This was he? The one all dreaded and feared. Dracula, the legend. The vampire told about in stories by the famous writer, Bram Stoker. Vlad Tepes, the notorious Romanian prince, who was renown for his cruelty and tenacity. For a moment I actually felt fear for my master, realising now that facing such a being would be futile and foolish. What would happen if he were to fail? My survival was linked to his. If he were to perish, then so would I. No one else in the world even knew I existed.  

Lucius gave a low bow, beckoning his enemy to him in encouragement. “Shall we begin?”

The stranger grinned, flashing white yet deadly sharp teeth. “It would be my pleasure."

Chaos ensued after that. Gunshots and the slicing of steel clashed together, creating a vortex of noise that was almost deafening. Trembling, I folded myself further against the stone at my back, trying to make myself as small as possible as bullets went flying past my hiding spot. My chains prevented me from retreating any further and I covered my head with my arms in protection. Dust and shards of granite went flying across the room. I could hear the tearing of flesh and the cracking of bones. Their two hulking shadows danced upon the wall beside me, giving me a glimpse of the massacre. It went on forever, feeling like an age before their fighting drew to an abrupt stop.

My master’s sword skated across the floor, sliding past my curled up form to stop a short distance away. The blade gleamed bright and silvery in the dim light, coated with rivulets of blood. Lucius gave a howl of agony, the sound causing my stomach to tighten. My heart hammered beneath my rib cage.

I peered carefully around the column to see my master’s fallen body upon the ground. There was blood everywhere, glowing like blackened fire. Lucius’ eyes were manic as he tried to crawl his way towards his weapon. It was then I noticed them… his legs. They were gone. Cleanly removed from the knee downwards, slowly regenerating, but not nearly as fast as usual.

“Not bad...” the stranger, Alucard, rumbled deeply. He straightened to his natural massive height. “… for a witless worm.”

“You insolent pig! You will pay for this!” Lucius screamed at him in fury. He began to pull himself towards me, aiming straight for the sword. His intent purposeful, filled with menace.

Our eyes met and my throat threatened to close in upon itself in terror.

“ _Ma belle_ ,” he whispered to me. His voice wrapped around me, trying to compel my mind to do his bidding. “Come to me. Bring me my sword, let us defeat him together.”

I hesitated. Afraid. So deathly afraid. Of what would happen if I were to deny him. Of what would happen if I was to aid him. I was torn, unable to bring myself to move.

“Do it now!” His booming voice made me jump in my skin.

Trembling, I began to crawl out from my safe place. The chains clinked noisily as I made my way towards the rapier, my fingers barely clasping the intricate hilt when I heard the sound of a gun being cocked. The sound echoed straight into my very soul.

I froze. Knuckles white, I gripped the sword to my chest and slowly began to lift my head. Up and up, sliding up an incredibly long pair of legs and a torso, to the face of the being that would soon become my doom. The end of a gun was pointed directly at me, aimed with precision at my head.

I’m going to die… it sinks in like a leaden weight in my belly.

I blink, taken back now that I had a closer view of him. Him, Alucard. His shades were gone now, as was his hat. Midnight black hair hung wildly above his wide shoulders, moving about his head as though dancing in an unfelt wind. I could still hear my master shouting at me, calling me to his side. Yet I seemed unable to look away from the frightening vampire hovering behind him, stalking steadily closer. His eyes were like the very pits of hell. One moment burning a deadly crimson and the next tinged with an eerie pink shade.

Vampires were designed to be alluring in nature. Everything about them drew their prey to them, appealing to them with their silken voices and beauty. My master was no exception. But this one… _Alucard,_ seemed to put them all to shame. His features were sensuously cruel. Masculine and kingly, but undoubtedly handsome.

I had nowhere to run or hide from him. His molten gaze roamed lazily over me, taking me in. Evaluating my worth. Clad only in shorts and a T-shirt, I felt naked under his appraisal. My body was littered with scars and bite marks. They decorated my thighs, arms, and neck like brands; marks of ownership. I had never taken much interest in them or cared enough to conceal them in the past. Yet now, before this handsome vampire, I had the overwhelming urge to cover them all.

_You’re a human._ A voice, deep and powerful, rolled through my mind. Forceful and demanding. It held a note of intrigue, as though amused by a sudden revelation.

I eyed the pistol he held, shifting my attention between it and Lucius, who was now nearly upon me.

I didn’t want this, I thought dismally. I’d never wanted any of this. For years I had lived in a hell designed and created by the heinous fiend who was reaching towards me. Yet it wasn’t fear that gripped me in its hold, it was something else. Something much more appealing and potent.

_Hope._

This was my chance. A chance to separate myself from Lucius for good and to end this nightmare that had taken so many innocent lives. I wanted it to be over, even if it meant dying at the hands of this dark haired vampire.

_Do it_. I whispered through my mind to him. Pleading. I lifted my chin up to him, daring him to pull the trigger. _If you have any compassion or mercy in you at all, you will kill me and free me of him… please, do it._

A shot rang out, loud and clear. Unconsciously, I flinched, stiffening for the impact of the bullet. I gasped a breath, expecting searing pain to come. But nothing happened. The scent of something burning made me open my eyes a crack and look down. I was unharmed, not a single wound to be seen in sight. However, the metal chain lay smoking at my feet, the links snapped cleanly. Broken.

I stared at it for a second, dumbfounded.

I was…. _free._

“No!”

Cold fingers brushed against my knee and I shot up, rushing backward away from the blonde vampire who was now staring at me with open fury in his golden eyes.

“Don’t you dare...” Lucius growled, his tone imperious. His strong hands pulled himself across the floor, his gaze steely with determination. “Do not defy me, _ma belle_. I swear, that if you do, not even the Holy Christ or the devil himself will protect you. Do you hear me?”

I look down at the long blade gripped within my hands. Lucius was nearly back upon his feet, his wounded legs almost fully regenerated. Without s seconds thought, I wrenched my arm back and swung the sword with all my might. It left my hand, sailing through the air. Lucius reached for it, but it passed over his head with ease, flying straight towards the red-clad vampire behind him.

Alucard caught it within his gloved hand. A beaming, sinister smile stretching across his mouth in victorious delight.

My decision was made… I chose life. I chose freedom.

My eyes met with gleaming crimson ones. A brief but potent connection settled between us. A mutual agreement, filled with all the silent gratitude I could muster.

“No!” Lucius bellowed.

I spun, my hair whipping at my face as I fled from the room as though the devil himself chased after me. I did not look back or spare my master a single glance. My bare feet slammed across the floor, my breathing heavy as I sprinted my way out into the open corridor beyond.

A dark and obnoxious chuckle rumbled through the atmosphere. A voice, mocking and low, echoed straight to my ears.

“It would seem your little lamb has abandoned you… _clever girl_.”

There was an enraged howl, followed by a scream of pain. I picked up my speed, terror lending me wings as I raced through the labyrinth of corridors.

What remained of my broken chains hung down against my chest, bouncing with each step that I took. I raced down a long, narrow hallway and then took a shift right, veering into another corridor. Only to pull up short when I came face to face with a small group of darkened figures loitering within the narrow space. All five of them spun to me, clearly just as surprised at my sudden appearance as I was of theirs. They stood only a few metres away, donned in dark military uniforms. Their faces covered, masked and goggled. Each of them carried a weapon, a gun of some sort.

“Freeze!” One shouted. The voice decidedly male. “Don’t move!”

The lead figure fumbled, reaching to level their weapon straight at me. I retreated, flying back around the corner just in time as bullets rained against a nearby wall. Heart pounding madly, I took a swift left towards the staircase that would lead me to the ground floor. My feet skimmed across the lush carpet. Adrenaline coursed through my veins like liquid fire, lending me courage.

I could hear footsteps gaining speed behind me. They were getting closer.

“This is SS-723, we have a female. Human. Dark hair. Small build. Heading for the east wing. Do you copy?”

Another shot flew past my head, nearly skimming my shoulder. I give a scream, ducking low, before bounding my way down the steps, skipping three or four at a time in a rush to reach the bottom.

“For fuck's sake, stop shooting at her! Orders are to capture her unharmed!” An unknown voice shouted.

They were fast, much faster than I was. But I had an advantage over them. I knew the layout of the manor well, like the back of my hand. It had been my home, my playground. My prison and my cage. I sprung right, aiming straight for the main entrance to the house. The large double doors lay open and wide, like a pair of arms reaching out to me in welcome. The moonlight beyond beckoned me, guiding me straight to the threshold.

And it was there that I stopped.

My feet skidded to halt at the edge of the door frame, unable to cross the line between safety and the outside world. Panic surged up into me, choking me of my sanity. It was all too much and too soon. It was as though invisible hands had settled upon my legs, refusing to allow them to move another step further. The trembling of my limbs almost made me lose my balance. Fear clawed at me without mercy. I could see the garden beyond the doorway. The billowing trees and darkening sky. The open space that threatened to swallow me whole. I had no idea of where I was going or who I was running to. I knew no one. I knew nothing about the world beyond these doors.

I took a step backward away from the light and retreated towards the safety of the darkness.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to take the final step and…

Heavy footsteps pounded behind me and I barely had time to register them before something heavy smashed into the back of my neck. All my strength left me and I crumpled to the floor with a thud. Everything began to spin.

“Game over, princess.” a voice uttered somewhere beside me. "We've got ya now."

A sound a breathless despair left me, and then the blackness descended.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing I noticed upon opening my eyes was the dazzling bright light. My retinas burned as I tried to blink against it. The rest of my senses began to return to me. Panic rose as a white ceiling began to appear before my blurred vision. My body lay upon a bed of some kind. _Where was I?_ I could hear a strange beeping noise coming from beside me. Low voices spoke nearby. Something touched my hand and I flinched at the contact.   
  
“Doctor,” someone spoke, the voice female. I could sense someone leaning over me from my left. “She’s awake.”  
  
Footsteps approached and a face slid into my line of sight, male and strong. A pair of vibrant green eyes stared down at me.   
  
“Good morning,” the man speaks to me with a soft, reassuring tone. “How are you feeling?”  
  
 _Who was he? Where was I?_ Heart racing, I rolled from the bed, dragging the blankets with me as they tangled around my legs. The cool floor touched my feet. I spun, slamming my back against the wall, eyeing the crowd of people around me with wide eyes. So many faces peered back at me. Unfamiliar and unrecognisable.   
  
“Easy, easy, we’re not going to hurt you.”  
  
I glanced around the sterile spacious room, fear burning through my veins like a poison. All the memories of the night before came rushing back to me like a tidal wave. Lucius; was he dead? Was he gone for good? One moment I had been fleeing from hell itself, only to be chased down by strange men with guns.   
  
“Good god,” one woman said, drawing my attention to her. Pity and horror danced across her pretty face, making my stomach turn unpleasantly. “Look at her, she’s almost like a skeleton... So many scars. What on earth happened to her?”  
  
I backed up further. Too close, they were standing too close. I wanted them to stop staring at me like that. Their burning eyes were unbearable, making my skin crawl. Stop looking at me like that!  
  
“Shall I draw up a sedative?” Someone said from the back of the room. “She looks rabid.”  
  
I lowered, crouching down low, not once looking away from them or turning my back. The need for survival was paramount. I looked around, searching for the nearest escape route or a potential weapon to use.  
  
“She’s not deaf, she can hear you, so have some respect.” It was the green-eyed man that spoke. The one who had first spoken to me on awakening. His chastising tone made me flinch, even though it wasn't aimed at me. “Step back and give her some room.”   
  
He held out his hands in a harmless gesture. “It’s OK, you’re safe here.” Turning his head, he addressed the group behind him, waving a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Everyone leave the room, please.”  
  
“But Doctor, is that wise? She might--”  
  
“She won’t hurt me,” he cut in. “Go. I want to talk to her alone.”  
  
As a unit, they all began to leave the room, casting the odd glance in my direction. The door closed with a soft bang behind them, leaving me alone with the one they had referred to as _doctor._  
  
I eyed him warily, taking in his golden blond hair and slender frame. He looked young, yet mature enough to appear confident and wise. His shoulders were broad, revealing his strength, but there was soft shine in his eyes. A compassionate streak. There were tiny lines at the edges of his eyes and mouth; a sign that he smiled and laughed often.   
  
He moved forward and I shuffled back, keeping the distance between us.  
  
“It’s all right,” he spoke gently, “I’m not going to harm you. My name is Doctor Ryder, I work here as the Head Clinician and General Practitioner.”  
  
At first, I didn’t answer him. I stared at him as though he were some kind of poisonous snake waiting to strike at me. I had no idea who he was, or if I could trust him. He was a man, strong enough to overpower my smaller frame with ease.   
  
“W-where am I?” My own voice sounded strange, unfamiliar even to my own ears.   
  
“You are currently in Hellsing Manor,” he explained, “the family residence and headquarters of the Hellsing Organisation. Our special forces were the ones that found you and brought you here.”  
  
 _Hellsing_. I pondered the name, recognising it instantly. It all began to make sense. From the attack on the manor to the group of men that had attacked me. And then there had been the vampire, _Alucard_. Somehow I’d been spared, freed from Lucius’ side. The fact that I was still alive astounded me.  
  
“The vampire is dead,” the doctor said, as though sensing where my mind had wandered. “You are free of him now. However, you are badly injured and weak, we want to help you.” He took a careful step towards me, holding out his hand in peaceful offering. Trying to encourage me to take it. “I swear that no one will hurt you here, but I must examine you.”  
  
My mistrust must have been evident as the smooth plains of his face softened.   
  
“I know you don't like the idea, but it's important that we know the full extent of your injuries. You heal quickly, too fast for that of an average human being. You've also been bitten...” he trailed off.   
  
I blinked at him, acknowledging his concerns. I could sense his thoughts as though he had spoken them aloud to me. He knew I wasn't like other humans. He knew I was different. Any normal mortal would have changed after being bitten by one of the undead.   
  
The doctor held out a hand again, only this time gesturing towards the bed beside him. “Please, take a seat. I will try to be as quick as possible, but it must be done.”  
  
Deciding to listen to logic, I cautiously approached the bed and sat on its edge. My eyes glued to the doctor’s form.   
  
He gave me a small, sad smile. “Thank you, I know that this must be very difficult for you.” He pulled the stethoscopes from around his neck and began to reach for me, only to pause. “May I?”  
  
Swallowing back a lump, I nodded.   
  
His touch was cool upon my skin, making me jump. I tried not to cringe away when his hand slid into the collar of my shirt, pressing the cold metal disc of the stethoscope against my chest.   
  
“Breathe in... and breathe out...Good.”  
  
As promised, the examination was quickly completed. First, he took my pulse and then listened to my chest. After scribbling down some messy notes he then examined my scars and wounds. The newest of Lucius' bite marks stung when he prodded it, and I gave a hiss. The doctor mumbled something from above me, but I could not hear what he'd said. He applied dressings to the cuts that lay across my knees and left foot, before feeling along my ribs for any breakages.   
  
“We must go and speak with Sir Integra,” he said finally, pulling away to stare down at me with a perplexed looked. “She is the leader of Hellsing and will wish to meet with you. What is your name?”  
  
I froze, taken aback by the question. My name? I tried to think back to a time when someone had actually called me by one. For so many years I had been called many things. _Ma belle. Beloved. Little one._ But never my true name. Not since my time as a child at the orphanage. My brows furrowed, trying to recall what it was...  
  
“They used to call me... Amy.”  
  
“They?”  
  
I shrugged, “the ladies who used to care for us.”  
  
His confused look made me pause. It seemed he didn't understand what I was trying to tell him. In fact, I wasn't even sure any of it had happened. It had been such a long time ago, as though in another lifetime.   
  
“Amy,” the doctor said, addressing me by my name. A flutter started in my chest at the sound of it. “Please, believe me when I say that whatever has happened is in the past now, it's over. You are safe here.”  
  
He turned away and began to tidy away his equipment. With a quick motion, he gestured towards a pile waiting upon one of the side tables.  
  
“There are some clothes there for you to change into. They may be too large for you, but they will do for now. You are extremely underweight, we’ll need to sort that before we do any further tests.”   
  
Tests? What did he mean? I cringed under his assessing stare, catching a brief glimpse of my reflection in one of the metal surfaces of the cupboard doors. Though distorted, I looked like some wild, untamed thing. With hair like a bird's nest, and skin pale and haggard like something half-dead.   
  
“There is a screen behind you for you to change behind.”  
  
I gathered the bundle to my chest and tiptoed behind the screen. As he said, the clothes were far too big for me. The black trousers slid from my narrow hips and I had to pull the drawstring tight to keep them in place. The matching shirt hung loosely around my frame like a plastic bag, sliding down and off one shoulder. I tried to comb my dark hair with my fingers, wincing at the tangles.  
  
Once done, I stepped out from behind the screen, only to find the doctor waiting patiently for me by the door. “Come, I will take you to see Sir Integra now.”  
  
At my hesitation, he gave me a firm look. “You must come with me, otherwise she will not be pleased.”  
  
I moved to follow him, but he stopped me with a lift of his arm. He reached for me, ignoring my shuffling step backward. Tentatively, he began to adjust the buttons of my shirt, being sure not to make any contact with my body.   
  
“There, much better,” he said, giving me a brief pat before ushering me out into the hallway.  
  
Silent and cautious, I followed him through the corridors. The entire house seemed like a never-ending maze, with twists and turns in every direction. The doctor had no problem with finding his way to their destination. I decided to stay close to his side out of fear that I may lose sight of him and become lost. My mind span with turmoil, uncertain of what was going to happen next. I did not wish to meet this _Integra_ woman, yet I did not seem to have a choice in the matter. For the sake of survival, I decided to follow with their wishes and orders. For now.  
  
We came to an abrupt stop before a set of large white double doors. The doctor lifted a hand to knock but then paused, hovering. He rotated towards me with a peculiar look,

his short pale fringe falling forward across his forehead.  
  
“Let me warn you in advance that Sir Integra can be a harsh woman and firm, but she is also fair. Let me speak to her first and do not speak unless she addresses you directly. Yes?”  
  
I nod, my anxiety growing with each passing second. I’d heard much about this woman, Integra Hellsing. It was said that, like her father before her, she was steadfast, bound by her duty as leader of Hellsing, and that she could be particularly tenacious. A woman not to be reckoned with.   
  
The doctor rapped his knuckles against the wooden door, the sound echoing. It felt like a decade before anyone answered.   
  
“Enter.”  
  
The door opened and I waited for the doctor to step inside first. I slunk in behind him, following him like a lost puppy. Every inch of me felt tense and on edge with nerves. I cast wary glances around the spacious, extravagant room. Lush carpet brushed against my bare feet. Sunshine beamed in through a large arching window. Before it rested a large mahogany desk with three figures waiting behind it. One was a willowy blonde haired woman, who sat at a chair before the desk's surface. The second figure was that of a shorter woman. She was also blonde but had a fuller, curvier shape. The one thing I did notice about her was her eyes.  
  
They were red.   
  
_Vampire._ My mind repeated in alarm, my heart beginning to race. She was one of _them_ , one of the undead. She wore a short red uniform that bore the Hellsing emblem upon the breast pocket. Her countenance came across as friendly and cheerful, but I knew firsthand of how much looks could be deceiving.   
  
My gaze drifted to the third and final person in the room. The blood in my veins froze as I recognised him. The gleaming crimson eyes. The long flowing red coat. The billowing midnight locks of hair. He did not wear any glasses or a hat this time. An amused and somewhat creepy grin was stretched across his wide mouth.   
  
_Alucard._  
  
I took a step closer to the doctor, trying to hide behind him. I could feel eyes burning into me. Intense and unsettling. I wanted nothing more than to run and hide somewhere out of sight, away from all the focus.   
  
“This is her?” It was the long-haired woman behind the desk who spoke. Her voice smooth and clear with authoritative command.   
  
“Yes, Sir.”   
  
The doctor leaned forward into a bow before the woman, showing her great respect. I peered around him to take a closer look at her, noting the gleaming spectacles and bright cerulean blue eyes. Her hair was like starlight, shining bright and pale all the way down to her waist. Ethereally beautiful.  
  
“Step forward, girl, let me see you.” The imperative demand made my stomach plummet in dread.  
  
When I did not move, the doctor reached for me, grasping me gently by the shoulders and leading me to stand in front of him, revealing me to everyone’s curious stares. I cringed, pushing my back against him. He was after all the only one I knew, even if a little bit. He’d promised that I was safe here and I desperately hoped I could trust him. Nervous, I stared down at the carpet and shuffled my feet.   
  
A long silence filled the room, stretching across the space like a tightly sewn thread.   
  
“I did not expect you to be so young,” Sir Integra finally spoke, “what is your name?”  
  
I couldn't bring myself to answer her. It was as though all words and ability of speech had fled me. I swallowed thickly, my anxiety rising like a dangerous tide within my chest. Suffocating.   
  
“Her name is Amy,” the doctor spoke up from behind me and I sighed in relief and thanks for his intervention.   
  
“Can she speak?”  
  
“Yes, though a little reluctant and shy, I think. Which is understandable, considering her previous circumstances.”  
  
I could feel Integra’s gaze searing into me like a brand, assessing me closely, weighing up my worth and value. I dared to let my eyes flicker up to her, only to be taken aback by the hard clarity of their blueness.  
  
“The vampire whom held you,” she began, “who was he? And what are you to him?”  
  
When I did not answer her expression grew firm. “Things are not looking good for you right now, Amy. It would be in your best interests if you answered my questions.”  
  
“From what we have gathered so far, she had been a captive of the vampire for a very long time.” Doctor Ryder piped in again, giving my shoulder a light squeeze in reassurance. “We have no records on her, as of yet, but we are currently looking for them. I truly believe that she was an unwilling participant in the vampire’s schemes and killings. As you can see by her wounds, she was held against her will and subjected to much distress and abuse.”  
  
I clenched my teeth together to the point of pain. Hearing the details about myself being spoken to these strangers made me feel nauseous. They believed me to be an enemy of theirs. Every inch of me wanted to rebel against them, yet logic told me to remain silent and allow the doctor to speak for me.   
  
“That remains to be seen, Doctor,” Sir Integra said with slight chide in her tone.   
  
“Please, Sir. Allow me the time to gather a report for you. While she is here I will take full responsibility for her. With your permission, of course.”  
  
The quietness that followed was almost deafening.   
  
“So, you want me to allow her loose upon my household, when we have no idea of whom or what she is, Doctor?” The coldness in the blonde woman’s voice was glacial. Cutting and sharp.   
  
“She is a human, Sir, I can vouch for that.”  
  
“Impossible, she has been bitten.”  
  
I flinched at the comment, wishing with all my might that the floor would open up and swallow me into a black hole. My hand moved, unconsciously lifting towards the bite wound at my throat, but I stilled, forcing it back down again.   
  
“The bite is healing. It may be hard to believe, but she is still one hundred percent human. The vampiric venom has not affected her at all, and there are no signs of changing either.”  
  
The blonde woman’s attention fell back to me. Intense and delving, as if seeking answers. “But, how is that possible?”  
  
It was clear that Integra did not trust me, I could see it in her grim expression. I was nothing but an obstacle to her, unwelcome and unwanted in her home and world.   
  
“Very well,” Integra said after a short pause, “I will humour you, Doctor Ryder. File a report and bring it to me within a weeks time for observation. Until I have the answers I seek, she will stay in one of the rooms in the basement. She will not leave this manor or walk its corridors without a guard. She will be under heavy surveillance and kept a close eye on.”  
  
I blinked at her, taken aback. I had escaped one prison, only to be placed into another. What did she want from me, exactly? I was no one to her. I wasn't a threat to anyone.   
  
As if sensing my annoyance, she tilted her head at me. “Understand something. You are not a guest here. If you try to leave this house there will be consequences. I will not offer you this small mercy again and if you disobey my orders you shall be dealt with swiftly. Do you understand?”  
  
I didn’t answer her. Didn’t nod or utter a single word. Instead, I chose to glare at her, letting her see my anger. What right did she have to keep me here? None. I had done nothing wrong, not to her or anyone.   
  
“Do you understand?” She repeated, slower. Demanding a response. “Or perhaps you would rather I order my vampire to drink your blood and find out the answers that way? Cut out the middleman, so to speak.”  
  
Fear flashed through me and I slid my eyes to the towering red-clad vampire standing beside her. If possible, his smile grew even wider, as if excited at the prospect of a meal. His blood red eyes gleamed at me, rippling bright with hellish flames.   
  
“No,” I whispered the words, shivering slightly. “I understand.”  
  
“Good,” Sir Integra responded with a clipped, somewhat amused tone. “Now off you go.”  
  
The doctor began to guide me back towards the door. With a quick, uneasy glance between the Hellsing leader and her pet vampire, I spun away and followed him.   
  
“Oh, and doctor...”  
  
The man beside me paused, turning his attention back towards the desk again. “Yes, Sir Integra?”  
  
“I hold you fully accountable for her...Don’t make me regret this decision.”  
  
“I will try not to, Sir.”  
  
With that, we left the room together. Once in the hallway and the door fully closed behind us, I gave a huge sigh of relief, trembling upon uneasy legs. The rumours hadn’t been wrong. The Hellsing woman was as fierce as a lion and scary as a demon. In silence, we began to walk through the corridors, with the Doctor leading the way. Only this time we did not return to where we had originally come from. Instead, he led me down a set of stone steps and then further into a darker, older part of the house. Elegant wallpaper and soft carpets disappeared, giving way to harsh stone walls and floors.   
  
The room we entered was sparsely decorated and small. A single bed rested against the wall, covered with blankets and a pillow. It had been many years since I’d even seen one, let alone slept in one. A wardrobe sat at the opposite end of the room, accompanied by a door which led to an extended bathroom of some kind. The area was dark, the only light coming from a couple of lamps. There were no windows anywhere, making it feel more like a tomb than a bedroom. I shivered, goosebumps rising across my flesh as the cold air danced around the hairs of my arms.   
  
“This will be your room, for now,” the doctor said, moving to stand by the bed. He flashed me a small, almost apologetic smile. His kind eyes soothed my fears, telling me that despite the situation I had at least one person to refer to as an ally.   
  
“It would be wise to pay attention to what Sir Integra tells you, for both our sakes. I will do all that I can to help you, but for now, I need you to stay in here and follow her orders. Okay?”  
  
I nodded to him, unease rolling through my belly. “Am I a prisoner here?”  
  
The doctor gave a weary sigh, running a hand across his face in frustration. “I 'm not sure, I hope not. I hope that with time and understanding things will change for you here. Until then, please be patient and let me handle things.”  
  
I peered into his face, curious. “Why are you helping me so much? You barely even know me.”  
  
He gave a rough shrug, “I don’t know. I guess it's because you are my patient and it’s my duty as a doctor to make sure you’re safe and taken care of. You’re alone, after all, with no one to help you.”  
  
I gave him a small smile, silently thankful for his care and generosity. He saw it and responded with a smile of his own.  
  
“Anyway, I’d best get back to the ward, I have other things to attend to. I will ask that some spare clothes are brought to you. The bathroom is through there, should you need it.” He pointed towards the second door, the one that did not lead to the hallway. “I will come and check up on you in the morning. Until then, try and get some rest.”  
  
With that he strode towards the door and with a brief glance back in my direction he left the room, closing the door behind him. I half expected a lock to slide into place, but no such thing happened. It would seem a test of trust was being offered to me. A challenge to see if I would do the unthinkable and attempt to escape. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt overwhelming despair rise up into my throat.  
  
Alone, I sat on the edge of the bed, lost in thought. Even if I did escape, where would I go? Who would I go to? I knew no one. I had no place to go and no family to return to. The outside world was foreign to me, a place I did not fully understand or recognise. I knew with certainty that I would not survive a single night alone on my own. When had I become that helpless? When had I allowed myself to become so reliant upon my vampire master that I could no longer survive in the world without him? Despite my hate for him, he’d made me need him in every possible way. Never in my entire life had I felt so unsure and lost as I did right now. So insecure.   
  
For what felt like ages I sat there, staring at the wall, lost in my turmoil and thoughts. It wasn’t until I felt the weight of eyes upon me did I snap myself free of my reverie. I peered around the dimly lit room, seeking out the source of my unrest. There was no sight or sign of anyone, yet my spine tingled, a mysterious sensation telling me that I was no longer alone.   
  
Someone was here.   
  
I rose from the bed slowly, uneasy.   
  
“Hello?” I called out, hoping for some kind of response. When none came I began to panic, fear flooding me. “Who’s there?”  
  
Something danced in the corner of my vision, a dark shape drifted, moving in the darkness. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. Heart racing, I grabbed for one of the small lamps resting on the bedside table, yanking it from its socket. I wrenched back my arm and threw it with all my might towards the shadowed corner of the room. It hit the solid wall, shattering loudly. I grabbed for the nearest thing available to me, a pillow, and held it before me like a shield.   
  
“Jesus Christ!” A voice, deep and laced with a thick French accent met my ears. “What the hell was zat for? That hurt!”  
  
 _Lucius?_ My eyes widened, my mind going wild with panic. It couldn’t be. He was dead!  
  
“Oh god, no… Please, no,” I breathed.  
  
Had he come back for vengeance? To haunt me? I could barely think straight. Pure terror ate at my insides, pushing me to the brink of almost screaming for help. I held the pillow aloft, ready to use it in any way that I could to survive, to escape.   
  
“Hey, easy, I am a friend.” The voice spoke again, growing softer. Soothing.  
  
My eyes flew around, seeking its owner, but I could see nothing, only shadows, and the grey stone wall. What on earth was going on?  
  
“Who’s there? Who are you?!” I asked.  
  
The wall began to shimmer, casting an eerie black and red glow across its surface.   
  
“You can call me Pip, Pip Bernadotte. At least, that’s what they used to call me when I was still alive.”  
  
“Still alive?” I repeated in a whisper. What did he mean by that? He was clearly male by the sound of his voice. Was he a ghost?   
  
The shifting of the wall grew in intensity, the shadows creeping and spreading all around the room. Perplexed, I stared at them, shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
“I am nothing more than a shadow now,” the voice, Pip, said. “I belong to _ma chere_ , I am her familiar.”  
  
I frowned. “Who?”  
  
The voice chuckled at me. “You know, the cute little draculina with the nice boobs and blonde hair.”  
  
Realisation dawned. He meant the other female vampire I had seen earlier on in Sir Integra’s office.   
  
“Oh, I see,” I replied, unsure of what to say. “Why are you here?”  
  
“My presence guards the whole of the house. I no longer have a human body to exist in, so this is my role now. I am to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don’t get into any mischief.”  
  
I spun on my heels, feeling unnerved when his voice seemed to drift, changing location. One moment in front of me, then to my left and then behind me.   
  
“Don’t worry, I can’t hurt you. I’m not even technically real.”  
  
“Are you… going to stay in here all night?” The very idea made me want to scream in frustration.   
  
“Of course. Got a problem with that?”  
  
“I...” I started to complain but then thought better of it. What could I say to someone who wasn’t even real? If Integra meant for me to be watched at all times, I had no choice but to follow her wishes.   
  
Frustrated, I stormed over to the bed, yanking the bed covers from its surface. I then walked over to the corner of the room, lowering into it. I curled up with the blankets, wrapping them around my shoulders.   
  
“Are you planning on the sleeping on the floor?” My visitor, Pip, asked with a hint of curiosity.   
  
“Yes, got a problem with that?” I echoed back to him through clenched teeth. I leaned my face against the cool stone wall, allowing it to soothe against my skin and cheeks. The idea of sleeping on the bed seemed ridiculous, almost unnatural.   
  
“Aye, aye, aye,” Pip sighed in exasperation. “Whatever. Either way, I’m always around, so you’d better get used to it.”  
  
I closed my eyes, trying to relax. Exhaustion beat at me, but I was far too alert and on edge. I clutched the covers to me, burying half my face in the thick fabric. The dark shapes upon the wall kept changing, catching my gaze, though they did nothing to approach me. Out of nowhere, Pip began to whistle, the soft airy tune filling the quietness.   
  
It seemed a good hour or so before I felt my eyelids begin to droop. Despite my fear, weariness won over and I began to slump against the wall, surrendering finally to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

  

The bright light burning into the retinas of my eyes suddenly vanished, leaving an imprint against the clarity of my vision. I blinked as the room around began to creep back into focus. Shuffling, I readjusted my position on the examination table. Doctor Ryder put away the small torch, only to then press his warm fingers against the pulse in my wrist, counting the beats. His handsome face looked down, staring at the watch on his slender wrist. The pristine room was filled with loud noises and numerous wandering bodies in white coats. Machines beeped from nearby and some whirled noisily in the background. With tired eyes I peered around the various notice boards and displays upon the wall, my mind in a foggy void.

"Hmm," Doctor Ryder mumbled in concern, his green eyes flickering up to me, gliding across my face in worry. "Your vitals are little low today. How are you feeling? Any strange symptoms?"

I shook my head. My head felt like a boulder upon my shoulders, a heavy burden. "No, I'm just a little tired, that's all, Doctor."

" _Christopher_ , Amy. Call me Christopher. I feel so old when you call me Doctor," he gave a small chuckle before letting his attention fall down to the clipboard on the table next to him. "A little birdie told me you've not been eating properly." He flashed me a chastising look. "What did I say about keeping your strength up? You need the calories."

I looked away, unable to bear the weight of his stare. My face heated.

"Sorry." It came out a mumble.

Christopher sighed, running a slender hand across his face and then up into his blonde hair. "Don't be. It's early days yet. Perhaps I am expecting too much from you?" He straightened to his full height, offering me a hand. "I can't take a blood sample from you like this, so we'll have to do the tests another day. Come on, I'll take you back to your room."

I could sense his disappointment and guilt prickled at me, knowing that I was the cause. My progress over the last few days had been great, until now. Everything had seemed to be improving; including my mental and physical health. My wounds and bites were beginning to heal and I was showing signs of 'stable recovery' – so the good doctor tells me. But today was different. What had caused the sudden change, I wasn't so sure. But all I wanted to do was remain in my room and hide from the world. Breakfast hadn't appealed to me. And even though I was encouraged to eat and drink, I found I couldn't find the energy or desire to do so. The freedom I had once felt upon entering the Hellsing manor soon gave way to the oppressive feeling of being trapped in another, more extravagant cage.  _Out of the frying pan and into the fire_ , as they say. Loneliness ate at me, even though I seemed surrounded with various new faces and people. A gaping hole in my soul ached, making itself known. And I had no idea of what to do about it.

Wearily, I reached for the Doctors offered hand and jumped down from the table. I slid my arms back into the sleeves of my shirt, covering my narrow shoulders, catching a couple of the curious stares from some of the other staff members in the room. Their eyes delved into me, as though I was some kind of interesting specimen they had never seen before. And I hated it.

_The world will never understand us, Ma belle._ I could hear his voice. Lucius'. Speaking to me as if from the grave. An echo of a time when I had once sought comfort from him against the confusing coldness of the world.  _We are a different kind of breed, you and I. They will never accept you._

The warm hand holding mine released me and I looked up to find Doctor Ry- Christopher watching me with a brow lifted in concern.

"Are you all right, Amy?"

I nodded, steeling my expression, hoping it revealed nothing to him. I just wanted to go back to my room and be alone for a while.

"I'm walking her back," Christopher said to someone behind him, gesturing to a pile of folders and books on the table nearby. "Leave those, I'll sort them when I get back."

"Yes, Sir."

Without a word, I followed him out of the door. My feet stepped across the lush carpet. My socks, though thin, offered a little protection against the cold. I was used to being barefooted or without shoes, I preferred it even though it seemed to baffle the others. I wasn't particularly picky about what they dressed me in, as long as it was warm and clean. The loose fitting black shirt and trousers were comfy enough, although they did cause my skin to itch a little.

Mind wandering, I followed behind Christopher, guided by the width of his back as he lead me down the corridor.

"So," he said, breaking the long drawn out silence, "how are you finding the house? Do you like it?"

"I guess so." I shrugged, uncertain of how to answer. What did it matter if I liked it or not? I wasn't exactly a guest. Yet, neither did I want to come across as ungrateful. He was, after all, the reason I was being cared for so diligently.

"I know the situation isn't ideal, but at least you are safe here. As arranged, there will be a meeting on Monday with the knights, they call it the Convention of the Twelve. Sir Integra will be there too. I'm hoping that once I present her with my findings, she will..." he trailed off, flashing a glance back over his shoulder towards me. "Well, hopefully she will understand a little more about your case and decide on what's best for the future."

A lump settled in my belly at that and a sudden thought slammed into me. Would they make me leave? Or worse. What if they decided I was an enemy to them? What would happen then? The Hellsing leader's words echoed to me... " _I_ _f you disobey my orders you shall be dealt with swiftly. Do you understand? Or perhaps you would rather I order my vampire to drink your blood and find out the answers that way? Cut out the middleman, so to speak."..._ I shuddered, recalling the subtle threat. Sir Integra held much power, including the dark vampire who stood at her side. The uncertainty of my future made my throat tighten and my knees to grow weak.

"Amy."

Christopher's voice snapped me to attention and I drew to an abrupt halt, almost walking into his side when I saw that he had stopped and turned to face me.

"Yes?"

"Pip tells me that you're still sleeping on the floor. Is that true?"

I shuffled, somewhat sheepish. I lowered my eyes, feeling his emerald ones upon me like a heavy weight. "Yes."

"It's not good for you."

"I know," I sighed, chewing on my lip nervously. "I just..."

"You should at least try getting accustomed to the bed. Is there something about it that you don't like? Anything we can change to help you feel more comfortable with it?"

"Oh, no," I shook my head, taken aback by the suggestion. "It's not the bed... the bed is fine."

"So, what's the matter?" He leaned in, peering closer at my face.

I shuffled again, struggling to find the words. When I gave the reply it came out mumbled, incoherent. Or at least I thought it was. But then I saw the way Christopher's eyes went wide, the line of his mouth parting in surprise.

"What did you say?"

"I'm used to sleeping in a coffin," I said, louder, yet with bated breath.

"A coffin?"

I nodded. "Yes, he would make me share one with him. He wanted me at his side at all times, even when he slept." There was no point in telling him who  _he_  was, it was obvious enough.

The silence that followed was static, a tangible thing upon the air. The man before me became motionless, stunned into a stillness that made unease curl within my stomach. I didn't need to ask him about it, I could already see the truth hidden in his expressive eyes.

Alarm. Curiosity... _Disgust._

His response wounded me. He already knew so much about my past with Lucius. The vampire had been a solid figure in my small existence, the only being (living or not) that I'd had any emotional connection with. Lucius had been callous and cruel, but there had also been times of tenderness with him. I had spent many years bound to his side, forced to rely on him and need him above all others. He'd made it that way. When he gave, I took with thanks. When he took, I gave without question. If he was pleased, I basked in his praise. If he was displeased, I kept my head down and took the consequences.

"I'm sorry, Amy," Christopher spoke up, the length of his throat bobbing as he swallowed. "I hate to ask this, but I feel it's very important that we talk about it. But...are you a virgin? Did he ever...?"

I froze, taken aback by the question, but even more startled by the answer. Heat crept into my cheeks, suddenly shy at the idea of sharing such personal details with him.

"Yes."

"Yes?" The Doctor asked again, needing more.

"Yes, I'm a virgin," I said again. "He never..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Though Lucius had mused often about it, he had reasoned that taking my innocence would have tainted the pure taste of my blood – something he had been most unwilling to do, much to my relief.

There was a brief pause, a stretching silence between us before he released a breathy, nervous laugh. "That's good! I'm relieved. Thank god, you had me worried for a moment then."

I offered him a small smile, though I did not feel its joy. My bottom lip began to tremble and raw sorrow began to climb up the back of my throat, filling my vision with tears. All at once the Doctors pleased expression vanished and he stepped forward, placing a steady hand upon my shoulder.

"Amy, what's wrong? What is it?" When I did not respond, he spoke again. "I'm here for you. You can talk to me, you know. What's the matter?"

I tried so hard to keep the sadness at bay, to fight back the trembling that began to creep into my limbs. But no matter how much I tried my turbulent emotions would not give me peace. One tear fell and then another, and then another, sliding down my cheeks to drip from my chin towards the floor. I lifted a hand, swiping one onto my fingers to stare at it; a glistening tiny crystal of moisture upon my fingertips.

And then it hit me. Realization dawned. I hadn't cried like this for such a long time, years in fact. And now the tears ran freely as though not even all the joys of life could stop them. All the pent up frustration and chaos of my life had tunnelled into this one moment, and now I was helpless against it.

"I miss him." It came out a rasp, my voice wavering. Hoarse with tight emotion.

"What?" Christopher asked, perplexed. "But how could you? He was evil, a monster!"

I sniffled. "I know. I can't explain it... He's always been there; every day, every hour. In a sick, twisted way you could say I grew attached to him. He was my parent, my tormentor, my teachers and my own personal demon. I ate with him, slept with him and he favoured me above all others."

"It wasn't real, Amy. None of it was." Christopher squeezed my shoulder gently and I lifted my face up to look at him. His eyes softened, warming in sympathy. "Vampires do not love as we do, they are incapable of it. Though they can try to mimic the emotion, it will never be anything but a poor imitation." His knuckles grazed across the curve of my cheek in an endearing gesture of comfort. "It's time to wake up and see that."

I nodded, swallowing back my grief. He was right. Now was not the time for self-pity and regrets. For many years I'd never imagined being able to be free from Lucius, fearing the very idea of being separated from him. Yes, here I was. Breathing, feeling, seeing the world with new eyes. Fully capable of becoming more. Of living a full life, without him.

"I should have expected this," Christopher sighed, growing solemn. "Of course, there was bound to be some attachment issues between you and him. Stockholm Syndrome is a very serious matter to consider. It will be difficult adjusting to your new life, but I promise you the pain won't last forever. You will overcome this. It's only a matter of-"

He paused, eyes sliding over my shoulder towards something behind me. With a frown I slowly turned my head to follow the direction of his gaze, only just catching the slightest movement of a large shadow dancing across the wall at the far end of the corridor. My skin prickled to attention, suddenly alert.

_Lucius_? It was the first thing that came to my mind, but then I quickly forced the thought away. Yet without a doubt something was there. We were being watched. I could feel eyes burning into me. Observing.

"Odd," Christopher mumbled, his voice low and puzzled. "What's he doing up at this time of the day?"

"What's wrong?" I let my gaze hover a moment towards the end of the hallway before turning back to the doctor. "Who is it?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." He gave a nonchalant shrug, trying to dismiss the matter, even though I noticed the deep furrow of his brow.

Without a further word we continued our way down the corridor, taking a left towards the main foyer of the manor. As we passed through, heading for the stairs that would lead towards the lower sections of the house, I paused. The large, arching entrance doors were open, gaping wide, allowing me to see the vast open world beyond. I froze as fear slammed into me. My legs refused to take another step. My wide eyes took in the magnificent yet terrifying spectacle. An endless sky of blue hovered above a scattering of trees, their bare branches dancing and bowing against the wind. Greying clouds rolled and danced, casting the immaculate garden below in shadow. The sun sliced through them, tickling my skin with energising heat and yet at the same time stealing away my breath in blinding panic.

It was too much. Too open. Too unknown. So much open space waited just beyond the threshold and the very thought of it alone sent my mind reeling with fear.

"Christopher." I whispered his name. A plea. A prayer.

He stopped and spun to face me.

"Amy?"

I took a step back, trying to get away from the doorway, trying to edge away from the void that waited beyond, threatening to suck me in. Heart beating, pulse racing, I tried to reach out, grabbing blindly for him.

"Help."

Warm fingers found mine, drawing me into a firm chest.

"Easy, I've got you. It's OK."

My legs and arms no longer belonged to me. I clung to him, allowing him to step around me so that his solid shape blocked the path between me and the doorway. He guided me forward and down the steps, not releasing me until we reached the bottom of the darkened basement corridor.

"Better?" Christopher asked, finally moving away. He peered down at me with concern.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't apologise. Panic attacks can happen at any time and to anyone. You're not used to being outside, so it's understandable. Don't worry, we'll jump that hurdle when we come to it. Let's get you back to your room."

I nodded, following him down the remaining length of corridor towards the brown door of my room. Once inside, I rushed into the en-suite bathroom and leant over the sink. After throwing a few cooling handfuls of water onto my face, I peered up at my reflection in the mirror, grimacing at my own gaunt appearance. My skin was incredibly pale like that of one of the undead. Darkened circles lined around my eyes, making my equally dark eyes stand out in stark relief. Cheekbones, harsh and pointed, stood out, making me uncomfortably aware of how thin I was. My entire frame was narrow and unhealthy, like that of a small starved teenager rather than a grown woman. The thick length of my hair trailed over my shoulders, matching the wildness of my eyes.

_Deep breaths, Amy. Keep breathing._

With each cleansing inhale rational thought came back to me, as did my sanity. I hesitated a few more moments before inching my way back towards the door. From the other side, I could hear voices speaking.

"It's not like him to be wake at this hour. What's he up to, I wonder?" Christopher said in a low hushed tone.

"Qui Sait. Who can tell?" Came Pip's reply, his French accent echoing from the walls. "You know what he's like. He does as he pleases."

They both fall silent as I step through and into the room.

"Feeling better?" Christopher's asked, and I give a nod. "Good. I have to go now, unfortunately. But if you need anything, please let me know. All right?"

"Ok, I will." I said the words, but every inch of me wanted to reach out to him and prevent him from leaving. I didn't want to him to go.

"Look after her, Mr Bernadotte."

"Yes, Doctor."

He cast me a brief, fleeting glance before striding out through the door and closing it softly behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts and loneliness. With little more to do, I walked to the edge of the bed and lowered myself upon it, staring at the door. Willing it to open and for the kind doctor to return to me.

 

* * *

 

Hands reached for me. Muscled appendages stretched out through the bars of my cage, seeking me out. Pale fingers, like talons of a great bird of prey clawed at the air, inches away from my skin. I gave a whimper, trying to press myself back away from them. Fear sliced down my spine. My heart raced, pounding loudly in my ears. Metal bars surrounded me, preventing my escape and keeping the monsters beyond at bay. Their faces were hungry visages, pale and monstrous. Numerous pairs of crimson eyes burned into me. Ravenous. They crowded in, their stench horrid. Saliva dripped from razor sharp teeth as gurgling laughter spilled from their twisted mouths.

"Stop it!" I felt the scream all the way through my being, yet despite that, no sound emerged from my throat.

" _Beloved."_

Suddenly he was there. _Lucius._ Tall and elegant, beautiful yet frightening – just as I remembered him. His regal golden hair fell in long curls around his shoulders. Golden eyes gleamed at me, bright with victorious pleasure. He wore the navy silken brocade tailed coat, embroidered with silken threads that gleam like silver in the dim light.

"Do you see now? Do you see?" He purred. Despite the monstrous creatures clamouring around him, he only had eyes for me, striding through their crowding figures, heading directly towards my cage.

He held out his long arms to me, beckoning me towards him. "Come to me. I am the only thing that stops them from devouring your soul."

My body burned, desperate to flee, to run. My feet refused to move. Icy shards of fear slashed through my bones, forcing me to remain immobile and trapped as he descended upon me.

Wide eyed, I shivered. Completely helpless.

_Wake up, Amy. It's only a dream._

The world whirled and then righted again. A blur of motion brought a solid body up against mine, pinning it with dangerous ease against the wall. Cold hands gripped me, holding me immobile. Long fingers reached into my hair, wrenching my head back. Teeth scraped against the line of my throat, lethally close, almost puncturing the tender flesh.

Lucius' voice drawled into my ear, whispering. A dark promise.

"You are mine."

_Wake up!_

 

* * *

 

Like emerging from deep water, I shot up, gasping into the darkness of the room. Heart pounding, I sprung up from the floor and my makeshift bed. Cobwebs of the dream still clung to me, haunting and mocking. Through the raging panic, I could hear a voice speaking to me.  _Pip_. I couldn't fathom what he was saying. My mind was lost, still sucked in that place between sleep and wakefulness.

With stumbling steps I headed for the door, wrenching it open so harshly that it swung against the wall with a loud bang. Shadows surrounded me, clouding my vision. I rushed out into the hallway, ignoring Pip's shouts for me to return. I ran, sprinting down the corridor and up the set of steps, taking two or three at a time.

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I was completely lost. One single thought kept repeating itself to me, demanding to be acknowledged - Where was Christopher? I wanted to see him, to hear his voice. Where was he?!

I surged up the final lot of steps and into the open foyer beyond. Gathering my bearings, I spun a full circle, uncertain of which direction to take... Only to pull to an abrupt stop.

The double doors of the main entrance lay open and wide, like a pair of arms reaching out to embrace me. Moonlight glowed, casting an eerie light around the spacious area. I backed up a pace, and then another. My fear and panic grew, dancing hand in hand with one another. Stars glittered, twinkling across a clear night sky. It was a scene that should have been a visage of beauty and tranquility, yet terror clawed at me.

_Breathe, Amy. Just breathe._

As I turned to move towards the large curving staircase behind me, a light breeze drifted across the area, dancing lazily against the hairs of my nape. A sound followed it, similar to that of a long, drawn out sigh.

The silence grew thick, morphing into a tangible living entity. My skin prickled, hyper alert and aware. And then it dawned.

I wasn't alone. Someone was there, watching from the shadows.

"Pip?" I whispered, voice trembling as my throat threatened to close in upon itself. "Is that you?"

My wide eyes flickered back up towards the moon, a strange lull settling upon my bones as I stared at it. A ghostly whispering met my ears, wrapping around my senses, pulling me into a deep feeling of calmness.

What was happening?

My legs began to move, slowly walking, not towards the stairs, but nearer towards the open doorway and the world beyond.

_Come..._

I heard the command, deep in the recess of my mind. The dark, low voice demanded that I obey, refusing to be denied. I felt its call, drawn to it with a great urgency that both puzzled and intrigued me. All of my fear was gone, vanished as if into thin air. Instead languid, soothing peace soaked into my limbs.

Something stirred in the bushes nearby, causing them to rustle.

Wait _._.. I froze, blinking away some of the fog that enveloped me. I grew rigid, gasping aloud upon realising I no longer stood inside the safety of the manor. Instead, I was now amongst the expansive beauty of the garden. Shrubs lined either side of me. Blooms of all shades glowed like magical fairy creatures from the flower beds, accentuated by the soft light of the various solar lights nearby. The cool stone of the pavement beneath my feet fully awoke me to the reality of where I was. Terror reignited within me and I took a step back, edging back towards the door.

I was outside. But, how? I could not even recall walking through the door. I turned to glance back at it, only to find it closed, sealing me out from the safety within. This shouldn't be happening, I thought with growing anxiety. I shouldn't be here. I should go back inside. Now. I should-

"Beautiful night, don't you think, human?"

All thoughts seized as I heard that voice speaking to me from somewhere to my right. Seep and regal, it rumbled its way through the night, spearing straight to my soul.

My head turned. An impossibly tall figure sat upon one of the benches nearby, nought but a few metres away from me. Hatless and without the tinted glasses he usually wore, the familiar vampire sat like a king upon a throne. Powerful. Completely untouchable. With one long leg crossed over the other, he gave the aura of nobility and elegance. Yet the broad width of his shoulders beneath his red coat warned of potential danger. Of strength and power.

_Alucard._ His name alone sent a shiver rolling through me. Forever etched in my mind.

This wasn't good. I wasn't supposed to be out of my room without someone to escort me; that had been the arrangement with the leader of Hellsing. What would he do? What would I do? Wisdom told me to turn around and head back inside, but my legs refused to move.

Despite the fact he'd just spoken to me, he neither rotated his head towards me, nor looked in my direction.

"Tell me something," he began again, his voice a smooth purr. The black mane of his hair drifted and danced upon an unknown wind. "I'm curious. Was it cowardice or courage that drove you ask for death that day?"

I stared at him, transfixed. I felt as though I was gazing at a poisonous snake, waiting with bated breath for it to strike. The handsome profile of his face shifted and an unsettling smirk lifting at the corner of his pale lips, as though reading the very path my thoughts were taking.

"A human reared and coveted by a vampire master," he chuckled lowly, as if musing something aloud to himself. "I've seen many things during these endless centuries, but this is somewhat of a novelty to me."

I swallowed thickly, unsure of how to answer, or even if I should. I couldn't tell if he was genuinely curious or mocking me.

"I'm not sure." I answered, truthfully. My voice barely a whisper.

When he said nothing further, I took the moment to observe him. The lapels of the coat around his shoulder billowed, rustling lightly. Slender white-gloved hands rested one above the other upon his knee. He looked comfortable and at ease, not in the least fazed by the fact he'd found me out in the garden, where I shouldn't be. He seemed indifferent to my presence, in fact.

My feet moved, drawing closer to his side. Warily, I paused beside the bench, drawn towards him in ways that I could not fathom or understand. The powerful creature before me had saved my life and spared it in a single moment. Something that I would never forget for as long as I lived. He could have chosen differently. He could have walked away and done nothing. He could have killed me along with Lucius or simply left me to my fate. Yet he hadn't. I did not dare ask why. I did not want to know, for fear of what the answer would be.

All I knew was that despite  _who_  and  _what_  he was – I owed him my life.

"Thank you," I uttered, the words flying from my mouth before I could stop them. "I'm sure you had no intention of playing the hero, but I'm thankful nonetheless for what you did, for helping me."

" _Thankful?_ The gazelle is showing gratitude towards the lion." He gave a dry chuckle, sneering the words as if in amused disbelief. His dark head turned to me then and his glowing crimson eyes shone through the dimness like two tiny flames, rippling and alive with fiery intent. "You're incredibly foolish, and yet deliciously charming, my dear."

"Are you really him?" I said, ignoring his remark. "Are you the one they call Dracula?"

"I go by many names. But yes, I am he." He said it matter-of-factly. Proud, with a slight tinge of arrogance.

I grew quiet with contemplation, chewing on my bottom lip with thought. The fact was hard to digest. I felt inadequate and lowly, like nothing more than an ant beside him. I could imagine anyone else would have had the same experience; like the feeling of standing before God himself. Dracula was a legend. A myth.

"I'm not a myth if I'm sitting right here, you silly girl."

Taken aback by his condescending tone, I opened my mouth to retort only to snap it closed again.

_Stay out of my head..._ I focused my mind, sending the message loud and clear for him to hear. My thoughts were my own. I didn't want anyone in my mind, especially not a vampire. Never again.

"Hnn?" he gave a low rumble in bemusement, "Are you afraid?"

"Yes." I answered, yet despite the admission I found myself lowering to sit onto the bench beside him.

A small space remained between us, even though I knew it would do little in regards to protection against someone such as him. Curiosity had me peeking into the corner of my eye, following the line of his aristocratic nose and pointed chin. Even seated together like this, his head sat much higher than mine. To say he was tall was an understatement. Alucard had long ago returned to staring out into the vast darkness of the night, but I saw the way his lips crept up slowly. Knowing and sensing that I was watching him.

I began to realise I was stroking at the skin of my wrist, feeling the bump raised flesh of one of my scars. I had so many of them, too many to keep track of and count. I remembered each one, each memory that came with them. I could still taste the pain of his teeth sinking deep and the agony that followed afterwards. Each time I would grow confused, startled by the fact that I would never change and become one of the undead – unlike Lucius' other prey. I always remained untouched by the curse of immortality, my humanity remaining whole and intact. A miracle in itself that I did not fully understand.

"Your master was a possessive creature, wasn't he." It wasn't so much a question but a stated fact. "He has left his marks all over your tiny body. A truly great shame."

I froze at that, lifting a brow at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I don't understand?"

What did he mean by _left his mark_?

Alucard tilted his head slightly, in a whimsical sort of fashion. "When vampires bite their victims some tend to heal the wound after in a way to cover their tracks and hide the evidence of the attack. It would seem your previous admirer had other ideas, and wanted everyone to know whom you belonged to."

"He..." I choked on the words, unable to speak for a moment.

I was torn between disgust and shock. I had bite scars on my arms, my legs, my torso and neck. Even one across the area of my chest where my heart was. Each and every one of them could have been healed. The cruelty and unfairness of it all was too much to process. I could have been spared the suffering, yet I had been forced to heal slowly, naturally. So that scars would always remain upon my skin and soul. A claim, of sorts.

My fingers dug into the fabric of my trouser, twisting tight so that my knuckle grew white. Tears burned in my eyes, but they would not fall. Something else surged into me then, making my body tremble.

Anger... I hated him. I hated Lucius with every fiber of my being. It burned deep in my gut like lava, flooding through my veins at an alarming rate. I was glad he was dead. He deserved to be nothing else.

"Yes, that's it," the vampire beside me purred, partially snapping me from my turmoil. "Let it fill you. Let all the anger and hurt rise up into you. And when you begin to feel weak remind yourself of its existence. It is what will keep you alive and make you stronger."

I calmed once again, eased into stillness by the smooth quality of his voice. He was right, of course. I knew deep down that I could not hide from emotions any more. I could not hide from the truth of my past, or avoid the reality of my future. Change was inevitable. I would not be afraid forever. I had to accept what had happened and learn from it. Become more...

Feeling a surge of confidence, I lifted my chin and threw him a small smile. "I'm Amy, by the way."

"I know." Came his deep, enigmatic response.

I gave a short snort of laughter, surprised and ashamed of my own weakness. I had been so afraid at the idea of Lucius one day returning; even if from death itself. I had been afraid of the future, of what would happen now that I no longer had a master to serve. But none of it mattered. Not now. Danger was unavoidable, but fear was a choice.

And I was tired of being afraid all the time.

"There are worse things to fear."

My head snapped around to him. "Like what?" I asked, only slightly acknowledging the fact he'd been reading my mind again.

A small moment passed. Alucard's head tilted to me. An unsettling grin spreading across the length of his lips, flashing pointed teeth.

"Me."

There was no threat or warning in his tone, just blatant fact. The more I pondered his puzzling words the more it began to make sense to me. In nature, it was survival of the fittest and largest. The only way to defeat a monster was by using a bigger, more frightening monster to do your fighting for you. It made sense now as to why the Hellsing organisation used Alucard for such tasks. Lucius was gone, it was pointless to fear him anymore. Whatever happened now, whatever came in the future, I knew that things would be fine. Alucard defended Hellsing and his master. And Hellsing in turn protected me, for now. It was enough.

With a sigh, I leaned further back against the bench and stared out at the vast open world before me. Instead of dread, I now felt a sense of overwhelming peace. For what seemed like hours we sat that way, basking in the silence of the night together, and then approaching dawn.

He'd been right about one thing in particular...  _It was a beautiful night after all._

The birds began to sing into wakefulness. The morning sun began to rise across the horizon, casting a magnificent orange across the trees and clouds. A few more moments passed and when I look across the bench I was only half surprised to find the rest of the seat empty.

Alucard was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: Sorry for the delay... this chapter took me aggggeeees to complete, and even now, I'm not 100% happy with it. But alas, here it is. Hope you all enjoy! <3  
> \---  
> \---  
> \---  
> \---  
> \---  
> \---

From my position outside of the door, I could hear the sound of voices speaking to one another in low tones. Their discussions had been going on for nearly thirty minutes now, leaving me with my impatient thoughts. With my back against the wall and my legs tucked against my chest, I listened, eavesdropping upon snippets of what they said.  
  
“The test results show no signs of abnormalities, she is one hundred percent human. We are not sure how this has come to be, but it seems as though her body is immune to the venom vampires produce in their bite.” Christopher said, his voice clear and closest to the door. “The blood samples suggest that perhaps this is something she wasn't born with, but rather it has developed over time. It seems like she has grown an immunity to it, almost like one can with certain types of poisons.”  
  
The majority of the time their topic was solely upon one thing... Me.  
  
Earlier on Christopher had come to escort me to this room where the knights and leaders of Hellsing congregated and discussed serious matters. From what I gathered from a quick peek inside the door, the members of the convention were mainly male and mature in age. The tension inside was stifling, incredibly taught like a tightly sewn thread. With unease I fidgeted, growing restless as I waited.  
  
_“I'll speak to them first, and then she will call you in,” Christopher had said, casting me a worried glance before offering a smile in reassurance. His eyes growing warm and gentle. “Don't worry, Lola here is a good girl, she'll keep you company.”_  
  
A roughened tongue slid across my cheek and I flinched, broken from the small memory by the hound sat beside me. The golden Labrador's tongue lolled from its panting mouth. Deep brown eyes stared at me, seeking my undivided focus. A tail wagged from behind in a friendly manner and I lifted a hand to lightly pet her across her smooth head. I'd never seen a dog before in the flesh, only in pictures and books. I had been wary at first, unsure of what she would do if I touched her, yet she seemed very keen on receiving my attention; a behaviour I found rather cute. Her little black nose kept nudging me, her warm breath blasting across my cheek. I hugged her to me, the heat of her body a comfort against my side. Lola, they called her. She belonged to one of the knights inside the meeting room, apparently; a master ball catcher and chief food snatcher, according to what Christopher had told me.  
  
Cuddling closer to her, I returned my focus back towards the room and the occupants within, listened carefully.  
  
“... My theory is that she would have been a regular food source for the vampire, reducing his need to go out and physically hunt. After all, why bother when he had Amy to feed from without the fear of her turning or changing.”  
  
“And her past? Any background data?” Sir Integra’s question carried weight to it, with all the bearing of a leader. Firm and resolute.  
  
“Yes, we managed to gather some records on her and I have to say it's pretty tragic.”  
  
I heard the rustling of papers, the sound of a chair creaking as someone shifted in their seat. With bated breath, I waited for Christopher to continue.  
  
“She was born as Amelia Warren to a Mr and Mrs Warren of Swiftling Close. From what we can gather, her father was an alcoholic and abandoned the family home when Amy was around two years old. Her mother then became mentally unstable and heavily involved in drugs...”  
  
I frowned, my fingers clutching tight into Lola's fur. If it hurt her, she gave no indication, only rewarding me with a quick lick across my ear. No matter how hard I tried to remember, the past seemed to evade me. I could only vaguely remember my life before Lucius. Having it spoken aloud now made a dangerous array of emotions to sweep through me. Confusion. Sadness. On occasions, I could recall images, perhaps even sounds of a woman's voice screaming at me with such hate in her voice, but I had never been able to connect it with anything.  
  
“The local doctor in the area, who had been in contact with the family regularly stated that he'd become concerned with the amount injuries and bruising the child had acquired. There are many of them listed here in the files. Broken ribs, burn marks and fractured fingers and toes. Reports were made, but nothing was done about it. That is until one of Mrs Warren’s neighbours had called the police to report screams and crying coming from inside the house.”  
  
Was this my life that they were talking about? I wasn't entirely sure. Everything seemed so vague and shrouded by fog. It was almost as if they were talking about someone else entirely.  
  
Parchment fluttered, a page turned. A low chorus of gasps echoed around the room.  
  
“Good god.” Someone said, causing my stomach to tighten.  
  
“In the end, social services took her. One of the staff members even went so far as to comment to say, and I quote, “ _it was the worst case of child neglect and abuse I had ever seen in my twelve years of working with the services._ ”  
  
I floated in a place between being smothered by a blanket of grief and eerie sense of numbness. The story being told was my own, yet I felt detached from it all. Sadness crept in, making itself known. I had a family, somewhere, out there in the world. But they hadn't wanted me. In fact, for some reason, they'd despised me.  
  
A long silence stretched out, swelling in my ears like booming thunder. For a time, no one spoke a single word. No one moved. I wondered for a moment if they had left the room, but then someone finally cleared their throat and spoke.  
  
“What happened after that, Doctor?” Sir Integra asked, her tone smooth and as unwavering as ever.  
  
“She was placed into the care system and admitted into a children's hospital to receive care and psychiatric support. However, she was barely with them for two months before the incident happened.”  
  
“Incident? What incident?”  
  
“A fire, a gas leakage...or so they say. It spread and destroyed the entire building within minutes. All the bodies of the children and staff were accounted for, except for one.”  
  
A shiver rippled down my back, already sensing where this part of the tale was heading.  
  
“Amy was reported missing, but no effort was made to find her as they strongly believed she had perished within the fire too.”  
  
“And you are sure that she is this child? Can you be certain?”  
  
“DNA does not lie, Sir Ainsworth,” Christopher replied, with a slight bite to his words, as though growing impatient. “It's becoming clear to us now that the fire was not caused by the error of man, but by the vampire Lucius Maxim. She was not his intended target, yet for whatever reason or purpose, he spared her and took her with him.”  
  
The ticking of the large grandfather clock beside me buried the throng of their voices. My mind repeated the facts over and over, unable to grasp them at first. My entire life had crumbled and bled into this single moment, this tiny second in which I felt I had no identity and no self. The obscurity of my past mimicked the obscurity of my impending future. My gut turned, knotting with doubt and dread. I clutched Lola against me, turning slightly to bury my face into her fur. She allowed me the privilege, simply sitting their loyally whilst I clung to her like a child would a mother. Her warmth seeped into me, lending me courage.  
  
“Oh, Hello,” someone said from beside me, and my head shot up in surprise to find a familiar young woman stood there.  
  
Wide red eyes blinked down at me in curiosity. The short length of her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her crimson uniform carried the emblem of the Hellsing crest upon its breast. Her pretty appearance revealed an open and cheerful demeanour. The longer I gaped at her the more I began to recognise her. It was her, the same female vampire from before, the one who had stood beside Sir Integra on my first arriving to Hellsing. I couldn't recollect her name.  
  
“Hello,” I replied, somewhat awkward, still seated upon the floor.  
  
“You're Amy, right?”  
  
I nodded, observing her closely. She had a full figure, incredibly feminine, and yet she looked as capable and as strong as any man.  
  
“Are you waiting to go in? I don't think they'll be much longer, I am--” She began to take a step closer, only to draw to an abrupt stop and her eyes to grow wide. “Oh wow, master was right, you do smell delicious.” She shot back a step, a pink blush casting across her cheeks as she rubbed at the back of her neck in a sheepish manner. “Sorry, that was rude of me. I shouldn't have said that.”  
  
Heat flew up into my cheeks at her strange and unsettling compliment. Master? Who was she talking about?  
  
“I see you've met Lola. She's cute, isn't she?” The woman said, clearly trying to change the subject. As if on cue Lola rose up and padded over to their new guest and was rewarded with a soft pet upon her head.  
  
Transfixed, I watched the exchange, surprised not only to see the female vampire acting so gently towards the canine but also the strange reaction it caused inside of myself. My gaze followed that pale hand, remembering a time when I would kneel at a particular vampires feet and have my hair played with in such a similar way. My alarm grew even more when I realised it wasn't disgust that rolled through me, but longing.  
  
“Who are you?” I blurted the question, wrenching myself out from those treacherous thoughts.  
  
The girl smiled at me, a genuine warm expression. “I'm Seras, Seras Victoria.”  
  
“You're a vampire.” I don't know why I said it. It was the most stupid and obvious thing in the world to say, yet for some reason, I wanted to hear it from her own lips.  
  
There it was again, that tinge of pink across Seras' cheeks. “Yes, I am. Although you could say I’m a little different from the others.”  
  
At first, I didn’t grasp her meaning, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to see it. Her red

eyes gave her away, yet she did not have the bearing or presence of a vampire. Most of the time they had an aura of threat and danger. If anything Seras seemed like an awkward teenager combined with the bearing of a warrior woman.  
  
Voices rose up in crescendo within the meeting room and both of them turned to glance towards the door.  
  
“It’s going to all right, you know,” Seras said finally after a brief quietness. “Sit Integra is bound by her duty as leader of Hellsing, but she is also fair and would never make a decision lightly. I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a nice person. I’m sure that whatever she decides, she’ll have your interests at heart too.”  
  
A smile found my lips as a surge of gratitude rose. “Thank you, that means a lot.”  
  
“And if you ever need someone to talk to then I’m always around.”  
  
The small offering of friendship took me aback. I shuffled my legs, unsure. I wanted nothing more than to accept her offer, but my thoughts sobered at the reality of my situation. Everything depended on how this meeting would turn out and even then there would be no guarantee that I would be staying within the manor.  
  
I opened my mouth, about to reply with an answer, only to be cut short by the door beside me swinging open.  
  
Christopher stepped forward, his face a mask of tightly obscured frustration. “Come on in, they’re waiting.”  
  
I rose up, looking back once to say goodbye to Seras, only to find the area empty. She was gone.  
  
With a deep inhale to settle my nerves, I followed Christopher into the room. The door shut behind us loudly, like the closing of a tomb, sealing us in. I took in the expansive area, marvelling at the extravagant décor and high arching ceiling before stopping directly before the long oaken table. Eyes peered at me closely, glued directly on my form. I could feel their judgement upon me, could sense them weighing up my value and worth. With more courage than I felt, I straightened my shoulders, meeting their appraisals head-on with one of my own.  
  
  
“Good morning, Amy.” Sir Integra spoke, her voice smooth and cool like ice.  
  
“Hi.” It was all I could manage as the words evaded me.  
  
“These fine men are my most loyal counsellors and knights. They mean you no harm. We’re going to ask you some questions and you will need to answer them as thoroughly as you can. Do you understand?” Smoke plumed around her face, a thick length of a cigar between her slender fingers.  
  
“Yes, I do.”  
  
“Good. Now tell us, what do you know about the vampire, Lucius Maxim?”  
  
I shrugged. “He was very old and came from a noble family line that originated from France. He would sometimes tell me about it.”  
  
Sir Integra lifted a pale brow in interest. “Was he part of a coven? Did he have followers?”  
  
I frowned at the question, trying to think. “He made many fledglings, but they never lived long. They would serve a purpose for him and then he would dispose of them.”  
  
“And you?”  
  
“Me?” My brows furrowed deeper, unease gnawing at my belly at where the questions were heading.  
  
“Were you one of his devoted subordinates?” She asked smoothly, without an inch of hesitation. “He seemed to favour you the most, Amy. All who have known him have ended up dead. All except for you, that is...You must understand our concerns and suspicions here.”  
  
It dawned then. She was giving me a chance, the opportunity to speak out and reveal any part I might have had in Lucius’ schemes. She believed me to be a culprit just as much as the vampire himself.  
  
When I said nothing Christopher shifted closer beside me. “Sir Hellsing, please, I find this all very unfair considering she has--”  
  
“She can speak for herself, Doctor. If she has nothing to hide, then she has nothing to fear from us.” The cool, clipped tone of her voice silenced the younger man quickly. Her crystalline eye refused to leave me, seeking out the truth. “Answer the question, Amy.”  
  
“I am not like him.” It came out with more bite than anticipated. “Yes, he chose me, but I did not choose him. Never once did I accept or agree with any of the horrific deeds he did to others.” My hands began to shake at my sides, adrenaline rushing through my limbs. “He always chose his victims carefully. I can remember them all, every single one. And if I could tear off my arm and bring them all back to life, I would do it in a heartbeat.”  
  
“And you expect us to simply believe your word?”  
  
I stepped back as if physically struck. Stunned, I narrowed my gaze at her, my disbelief evident. What did she want me to say exactly? Did she want me to kneel on the floor and beg for mercy? Or perhaps she was trying to pressurise me into admitting something that wasn’t true? Either way, I refused to budge an inch.  
  
I sighed, already fed up with this conversation and wanting to leave. “You don’t understand at all, do you? After all, how could you? You’ve grown up with a loving family, protection and money. You’re extremely privileged and have always been sure of your own future.” I stared right at her, without so much as a blink. “I never had those things. Unlike you, I had no knights or soldiers to help me.”  
  
I stopped. Clenching my jaw tight to fight back the boiling angry words that threatened to spill out from my mouth.  
  
Looking at the floor, I tried to calm my raging emotions. “You people are supposed to be protectors of England and its people, right? So, where were you? For years I had to exist with him, and you were not there to help. So don’t you dare judge me.”  
  
The silence that fell across the room was almost static, charged with tension. Heads turned, this time looking towards the blonde haired woman at the head of the table, waiting for her response.  
  
“There is only one way to be certain that what you say is true. None of this will be settled until we know the absolute truth…” She did not look away from me, but I sense her focus shift. Her next word made a ball of unease to roll through me. My blood turning to ice in my veins. “Alucard, step forward.”  
  
The tall vampire did as bade, gliding forward like a prowling tiger from his master's side. With slow, leisurely strides, he made his way around the table, heading straight towards me. His boots thudded against the wooden floor, echoing with intent. My heart stammered and then began to pound. Realization dawning.  
  
Blood was the essence of all things, of life. With it came knowledge and memories, a tiny piece of the individual being fed upon. They intended to allow the vampire to drink her blood and seek out the answers they wanted. As if nothing I or Christopher had said meant anything of importance.  
  
_Or perhaps you would rather I order my vampire to drink your blood and find out the answers that way? Cut out the middleman, so to speak._ The memory of Integra’s previous threat rushed up at me.  
Alucard’s crimson eyes were glued to me, missing nothing. Surely seeing the way I grew tense at his approach. No doubt he could even hear the rushing of my blood, smell the taint of my fear upon the air. I stepped back, panic clawing its way up my throat. My face rotated toward Christopher, my expression pleading, seeking help. In a few strides, he’s there, standing in front of me in an almost protective manner.  
  
“Wait… is this really necessary, Sir Integra? Evidence has already been provided for you, carefully collected by myself and my team. Can we not just put all this to bed and call it a day?”  
  
“Doctor,” Integra sighs, the light gleaming against the dark leather of her eyepatch as her head tilts. Clearly becoming annoyed. “If you interrupt and challenge my authority one more time, you and I will be having a discussion about your resignation from this organization. Do you understand me?”  
  
Christopher stiffened and then his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Yes, Sir.”  
  
He stepped away, albeit reluctantly. I caught his pitying look as he returned to his spot by the window. Now that he was gone I had no protection or shield against the hulking dark figure who prowled closer. With that familiar chilling grin, Alucard loomed over me, his shadow casting over my form like a giant black cloud. The edges of his long, red coat fluttered. His cravat billowing upon an unseen wind like the inky locks of his hair.  
  
Annoyance surged. Why didn’t they just do all of this from the start? It would have saved a lot of time and hassle. It was clear Integra wanted absolute surety on the matter. Resigned, I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Everyone in the room watched us closely, waiting with expectation like that of hungry vultures.  
  
I looked back to the vampire in front of me, a strange feeling lurching in my gut. I had told no one about our little meeting in the garden the other night. Alucard had been cordial, even reassuring in his own way. Yet now there was nothing but gleaming amusement in his crimson eyes. They glowed, rippling with his barely contained excitement. I shuddered, becoming lost in their depths.  
  
I hated this. I did not want this at all, especially not with such an avid audience. I felt like some kind of freak show on display. But I knew there was no point in fighting it. There was no other alternative to this situation. I had no choice in the matter.  
  
Defeated, I sighed, lowering my gaze before drawing my hair out of the way to reveal the unmarked side of my neck. I presented it to him, gritting my teeth tight. The still-healing wound of Lucius’ bite on the other side twinged, reminding me once again of the irony of my life.  
  
“Just get it over and done with,” I said, trying to keep my tone cool and distant. I didn’t want any of them to know how much this bothered me. I didn’t want them to see my fear and the way my limbs trembled.  
  
An icy breath tickled against my neck. A sigh followed, deep and heavy with an insatiable thirst. My heart stammered in its beat. I close my eyes in dread, only for them to snap open again when strong fingers

found my chin. With a frown, I froze, allowing Alucard to guide me until I faced the opposite direction and the other side of my neck was revealed to him.  
  
“Wh- What are you doing?” It came out a strangled whisper. My eyelashes fluttered nervously when I realised his focus was trained upon the wound already marked within the skin.  
  
“Hush.” His voice, smooth and low, purred against my ear. “Hn, he was a messy feeder, I see. It’s such a shame that he had to mar such delicate flesh.” The tips of gloved fingers trailed across it, causing me to flinch in surprise.  
  
A pointed nose glides across my neck, a brief warning before sharp teeth settled against my throat, directly over the punctured holes already there. My unease grew. I braced, waiting with bated breath for the searing pain to come.  
  
What was he doing? Surely he wasn’t going to--  
  
His jaw clamped, fangs slowly sliding through the skin like a heated knife through butter. A startled cry ripped from my mouth. The wound, now reopened, flared and throbbed with fiery pain. Without realising, my hands reached out, pushing against Alucard’s chest, but it was like attempting to move a stone wall.  
  
“Wait!” I scrambled in panic, resorting to simply gripping him by the lapels of his coat, needing an anchor through the torment.  
  
Alucard remained still, simply sat there, seated deep within my throat. He made no movement to drink yet. Instead, he waited. For what, I was unsure. As a minute ticked by, I could feel my pulse fluttering against his open mouth… An eerily intimate sensation.  
  
The pain began to ebb. My body slumped against his hold as a warm sensation crept its way across my body. It crawled through my veins like liquid fire, settling in my belly, thighs and breasts.  
  
A moan escaped me, and it was then that he began to drink. The first draw sent a dizzying rush through my head. In the past, Lucius’ bite had always been possessive and greedy, devouring my blood as though it were only water. Alucard, however, was different. He sipped, slowly, as if savouring a fine wine. Taking his time as though he had all the time in the world, and more.  
  
A whisper of a caress touched my mind, invading gently. Searching. I could feel him sifting through my subconscious. Memories and images rose up in response, answering his call for surrender. The manner of his perusal was one of disinterest as if flicking through the pages of a boring book. He narrowed with slight interest upon something, delving deeper. The night of Lucius’ demise replayed itself to me, every single detail relived in vivid clarity. I saw myself knelt there on the stone floor, yet again chained, staring up at the dark-haired stranger who had come to claim my master’s undead life. I remembered my first reaction to Alucard’s appearance. The fear. The awe. And then the briefest moment in which I had quietly admired his masculine beauty.  
  
_“So, you think me handsome, do you?”_ Even in my head, his voice sounded arrogantly pleased, undeniably sure of what the answer would be, rich with smug realisation.  
  
None of it would be news to him and I had no doubt at all that women often fell at his feet in admiration. Yet he seemed indifferent, not only to the opposite sex but also to humans in general. Regardless of gender he showed no interest in people, always aloof and watching from the sidelines with that knowing smirk of his.  
  
“Stop it,” I uttered quietly, trying to push at him. I didn’t want him to know me, I didn’t want him to know my secrets.  
  
His gloved hands tightened upon my shoulders, stilling my movements. He drew me closer to him, only the slightest inch, but it brought me almost in direct contact with him.  
  
_“Answer the question.”_  
  
“Yes,” I whispered in a rush, unable to deny it and yet desperate for him to hurry up and finish his task. A rush of heat surged up my throat and into my face, and I was secretly glad he could not see the blush there. Why was he even asking me such irrelevant questions? Why did he even care?  
  
“Alucard, that’s enough,” Sir Integra spoke up suddenly, breaking into the strange and somewhat unsettling moment.  
  
Completely shrouded by Alucard’s shadow, I couldn’t see her but I could hear the sternness in her voice. For a long, quiet minute I thought he intended to ignore her order. A moment passed, and then another, before finally he withdrew. His teeth slid out of my flesh, making me wince in discomfort. A serpentine tongue lashed out, licking at the wound before he stepped away altogether and turned, making his way back towards the shadowed corner of the room.  
  
Half in a daze, I stared at his back, a hand lifting towards my neck to feel for the damage he’d no doubt left behind. To my surprise, I felt only smooth, warm skin. There was nothing there. Even the evidence of Lucius’ bite was gone. I gaped at him, watching his hulking shape walk away. I had no chance to comment on it as Sir Integra spoke up once again.  
  
“Speak, my servant. Does the girl speak the truth?”  
  
_Can she be trusted?_ Though she didn’t say it aloud, I heard the question as if she’d shouted it for all the world to hear.  
  
“Indeed, she does.” His voice, low and slightly silken, made a shiver roll down my spine. He did not turn to address the room or the people within it; as if they were of little interest or importance to him.  
  
“Good. It is settled then,” Sir Integra settled her cool gaze upon me once more. “Now that we have that problem solved and out of the way, we can now move onto more important issues.”  
  
I took a deep cleansing breath, eyeing the various faces peering at me from the table and then towards the door, wishing more than anything that I could run through it and return back to my room.  
  
“Considering the nature of your situation and past, I have decided it would be in both of our interests that you stay here with us, for a time, until we have fully decided what is best for you.”  
  
The ice of her clipped tone left no room for argument, and in all fairness, I was too weary to disagree with her. I had no family, no one who I could go to. I was completely alone in a world that I had no knowledge or experience about. I needed Christopher’s help, and begrudgingly, Sir Integra Hellsing's too.  
  
With little else to do, I nodded, hoping to finish this tedious meeting soon so that I could bury myself in my room and sleep.  
  
“In the meantime, we will provide you with a place to stay, to grow and develop skills. We can offer you a chance to start a new life. Doctor Ryder will be your tutor and we will provide you with some basic self-defence training,” Sir Integra continued, not once looking away from me. “However, we do not allow room for incompetency. If you wish to join us you must learn to pull your weight and contribute to what we do. How long you stay here all depends on your usefulness...”  
  
She rambled on for what seemed like an age. Lost in a fog, I remained quiet, viewing the world with unfocused eyes. All the events of the day came swarming back, the reality of my situation sinking in like a stone. I was to stay here at Hellsing. And I didn’t know whether to be grateful or uneasy about the fact.  
  
“Is that understood?” Integra said suddenly. All eyes turned to me, expectant.  
  
Somewhat lost and confused, I simply nodded.  
  
Something else was said. What, though, I wasn’t entirely sure. Figures started to rise from their seats, dismissed by the slender, blonde woman at the head of the table. Taking my chance, I spun away, shooting towards the door behind me. I barely registered Christopher calling my name. Without a word, I pulled the door open, rushing out into the hallway beyond and made my way back towards my room. My thoughts sluggish and my energy drained, I lost a sense of direction for a moment, before taking a left towards a familiar corridor. I didn’t stop walking until I was finally within the safety of my room. Once inside I became acutely aware of how shaken I was. My hands trembled, my anxiety through the roof. I settled myself on my small makeshift bed in the corner of the room, wrapping myself in the heavy blankets. All the while the skin at my throat burned, throbbing with heat. A ghostly reminder. A deep, mocking voice echoed in my mind over and over, refusing to let me rest…

“ _So, you think me handsome, do you?”_


End file.
